


Of Coffee and Cookies

by AHappyPup



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Anxiety, Awkward Romance, F/F, F/M, Frohana (Disney), Frohana cries a lot, Gen, Legal Drama, M/M, Matchmaking!Anna, Mental Health Crisis, Mental Health Issues, Nightmares, Parkour!Anna, Past Domestic Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Discovery, Sickfic, Slow Burn, Useless Lesbians, found famiy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 11:40:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 37,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21968713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AHappyPup/pseuds/AHappyPup
Summary: Recovery is not an easy task. But Anna has a job now; she's away from Hans; she's safe. Elsa and Kristoff have given her so much and she wants to pay it back. And sometimes that means giving a free drink to Honey Iced Chai and Frap Boy Ryder with their phone numbers. What could go wrong?
Relationships: Anna & Elsa (Disney), Anna/Kristoff (Disney), Elsa/Honeymaren (Disney), Kristoff/Ryder Nattura
Comments: 302
Kudos: 495





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anna is tired of her sister being lonely and single. She decides to take things in her own hands when it comes to Honey Iced Chai. Elsa can be mad at her later.

"Anna, I don't have time for that. I'm a Ph.D student. I don't have a life outside of school."

Anna rolled her eyes at her sister as she picked at her sandwich. As much as she loved berating her sister about how she needed a life outside the lab, her time was limited. She got 30 minutes, no more, no less. "I'm just saying, you seem interested. You should talk to her!"

Elsa brought a palm up to her face. "You can't just go up and start talking to a total stranger. Besides, she's busy, just like I am." Despite her pleads, Anna saw the way she looked at the young woman a few tables over. She was in there practically every day, coming in with the after-school rush, usually staying most days with her large stack of papers. Anna had talked to her a few times and taken her order many more times: Honey, venti iced chai, two extra pumps of chai. 

"Perhaps you could be busy together," Anna teased. Elsa swatted at her sister's arm lightly. "Come on, Els. You know I'm just looking out for you."

"And I appreciate it. But I can handle my own love life, Anna. I don't want anything right now." She straightened up the papers on her table, then reached to grab Anna's hand. "I have my best friend back. That's all I need right now."

Anna sighed. The last few years had been hard. Between their parents passing and Anna being under lock and key with her thankfully now ex-fiancée Hans, their relationship had been strained. But things had changed. Anna had moved into Elsa's apartment in Berkeley, far away from their old home in Denver. Hans was states away, held off by a restraining order. Anna had a new job of her own as a barista, rebuilding herself. It was getting better every day. 

Anna squeezed back on Elsa's hand. "Just promise me you'll think about it. There's more to life than papers and lectures."

"I know there is. I just want to go at my own pace."

_ Beep beep beep. Beep beep beep. _

The cursed timer. Her lunch was up. Anna gave a sad sigh. "I'll see you tonight okay? I'm closing, so it'll be 11:30 or so."

Elsa nodded, letting her sister go. "I'll keep you a plate of whatever I cook tonight. But, I'll probably still be up when you get home."

Anna rolled her eyes. "At least try to sleep. Love you."

"Love you too."

As the night continued, Anna couldn't help but scheme just a bit. "Oh come on Kris, it's not the worst idea ever," she said into the headset as she cleaned the cafe. It was slow and they were trying to get ahead on tasks. And thus her shift manager and good friend Kristoff was roped into her plotting.

"You know her name and her order. How can you possibly know if she would be good for your sister?"

"Well," she said rubbing a day old coffee stain out of the wood, "she seems like the real academic type. I see her either reading math books or grading what looks like math homework all the time. I think she told me she was a teacher once. Sounds like someone Elsa might like."

"A career is not a personality," Kristoff said before a noise rang in their headset, bringing his attention to the drive-through screen.

"I know it's not," Anna quipped back, working on the drink order. "But it's a start. My sister-" 

Another drink order interrupted her. "My sister hasn't dated anyone since we were in high school. I just want her to have someone."

She could practically hear his eyes roll over her steaming pitcher of milk. "Anna, if your sister wanted to be in a relationship, she would be looking. Leave her be."

"But you don't know my sister, Kris. She's not going to make a move even if she wants to. She needs a little push," Anna said, handing off the drinks. "I just want to help."

"First of all, I do know your sister," Kristoff said, wandering to the backroom. "I've worked beside her and served her coffee for four years. Second of all, I know you do, but if you push do you really think she'll go for it?"

Stupid Kristoff and his logic. "Look, I just want them to talk. As much as I would love for her to fall in love with Honey Iced Chai, I would love for her to have more friends too. Someone that makes sure she leaves her lab for something other than caffeine."

"Whatever you say, Red." She rolled her eyes at the nickname. Anna would be caught dead before she admitted she liked it. It was nice to have a kind nickname, not one that made her cry at the drop of a hat. 

"Speaking of...' Anna dragged out, making a drink that just came in for delivery service. "What about you and that Ryder guy? I've seen- damn it do we have any cookies left or will we have to give these people a refund?"

"Sugar or chocolate? And, Anna, don't even start with that. We don't even know if he likes men. Speaking of, you don't know if Venti Chai Honey likes women either."

"Sugar. And I don't need to when I see the bedroom eyes you give one another!" 

"What the eyes of his excitement of getting his super sugary drink that doesn't even deserve to be called coffee after his workout? And we're out. It's your turn to do the refund."

"Kristoffffff, I'm on bar; you're register. You do it."

"Nope. I've got important shift duties to do. You're soloing for a few, bye." Anna heard him click off the headset.

Anna was ready to run back at him to continue the conversation, but another ding brought her back to the drive through window. They'd have to continue this later. He wasn't about to get out of this conversation. She wasn't a love expert by any means, but she could tell Kristoff was lonely.

Unfortunately, the night picked up and they weren't able to return to their conversation. The end of night rush wrecked them both, leaving little energy for conversation even when they were done with customers for the night. They closed up shop, and left without another word on Kristoff and Ryder.

\---

"Good afternoon, Honey. Your usual?" Anna smiled, perhaps a little too cheery.

Honey was taken aback. Anna was usually pretty happy, but something seemed up. "Yes please," she responded. 

Anna reached over to the stack of cups nearby and began writing the drink. "How's your day going?" she asked, making their usual small talk.

"A bit long," she responded laughing. "I gave the kids a test today and they were all kinds of worried before, during, and after." Honey pointed at the large binder of papers in her satchel. "So now I get those to grade."

"Sounds like it." Anna smiled. In Honey's distracted state, she was able to write out the cup pretty quickly. She rang the drink up in the computer before handing the cup off. Slyly, she entered her employee numbers in, bringing the price down to zero. "Someone actually paid for your drink ahead of you, so no worries," she said as Honey got her card out. 

Honey's eyes widened. "Really? Well, thank you very much."

Anna nodded, looking at the woman. "Yep! We'll call you out when it's ready!"

"Thanks, Anna!"

It was worth the death glare Kristoff gave when he saw the phone number written on the cup. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elsa gets a text message from someone new. Someone that could possibly make a very good friend.

When Elsa was working, she could ignore many things. She had missed many a visitor because she was focused so intently on a research article. Many phone calls and texts went unanswered in the swarm of working on her dissertation. Anna had always told her she was jealous of her focus, but in reality it was easy to get swept up in it all. If she was working, she wasn’t worrying, and that worked well enough for her. But there was one breach in that focus. 

Well, three breaches actually: Olaf, Marshmallow, and Bruni. 

Like she could everything else, Elsa could ignore her cats whines and meows as they played with one another, desperate to distract their owner. Anna kept them occupied during the daytime before she went to work, but nighttime was all her responsibility. But there was only so much she could take, before she could give into their pleas. So, Elsa usually went to Anna’s work for her lunch break, dropping off food often forgotten in their fridge and set up shop in the cafe for a bit to work, leaving her small friends to do their own thing until she came back from working. Then it was playtime, much to the delight of her small friends.

Today, however, the stars had aligned in Anna remembering to bring her lunchbox and Elsa having a breakthrough idea for her latest project, leaving her to work uninterrupted for five hours after her lecture. Well uninterrupted until Olaf decided he had enough and that it was supper time, pawing at Elsa’s legs meowing for attention.

“All right, all right,” she murmured, her annoyance gone when the white cat crawled up into her lap. “I guess it is dinner time, huh,” she said looking up at the clock, stroking his fur.  _ 7:28 _ . Certainly a productive evening for sure.

“Come on. Go find your brothers. “ Elsa dropped Olaf and sent him off while she went to the kitchen. She was surprised that they hadn’t whined earlier for food. Unless, she had ignored it. And now her cats were actually starving and it was all her fault and-

“Breathe,” she told herself, catching the thought pattern. “They’re fine. They aren’t going to starve because I fed them an hour late.” Elsa shook her head and got back to the task at hand, opening the bag of dry food. All three of her cats ran at the sound of their food, Bruni and Marshmallow swatting at her legs. It gave her a good laugh. “Settle, you two. I can only pour so fast.”

All three cats content in eating, Elsa wandered to her pantry to figure out what she needed to do for her own food. She ended up settling on a simple pasta meal for her and Anna, a bit too frayed to get into cooking like she normally would. Then it occurred to her to check her phone, see if Anna was doing okay at work. 

Three new messages. That was odd. 

Two were from Anna telling her about her day and reminding her to eat at some point and give their cats a snuggle for her. “Already taken care of that,” Elsa laughed to herself. She was grateful for her sisters messages.

But the third message was odd.

_ Hi, thank you for getting my coffee today! I had a really rough one and needed it. Maybe we can talk again sometime?  _

It was an unknown number, and she hadn’t stepped foot in the cafe today. Maybe it was a wrong number?

_ I’m sorry I think you might have the wrong number? I didn’t buy anyone coffee today? Sorry. _

She responded and was ready to move on until her phone vibrated once more. 

_ Is this not Elsa? I’m sorry, I’m reading the phone number off a coffee cup it’s hard to read. _

She was ready to kill Anna when she got home. She dialed the familiar number on her phone, ready to demand an explanation. 

“Mermaid’s Siren on 5th and Oak, this is Kristoff. How can I help you?”

“Hey Kristoff, it’s Elsa,” she said trying to keep her composure. “How long until Anna’s last ten?”

“I’d guess about thirty minutes? What’s up? Is everything okay?”

Elsa subconsciously nodded. “We’re fine. It seems my sister is quite the trickster and I’m going to kill her.”

“So she texted you?”

Elsa huffed. “So you knew about this?”

“I didn’t see the phone number until after I handed it out. Sorry, Els.” She could hear him sigh over the phone, just as exasperated as she was. “So are you going to text her back?”

“What am I going to say? ‘Sorry my sister is playing matchmaker and even though you’re really pretty this is not the way to go about it.’?”

“So you do think she’s pretty.” Elsa could almost hear the smirk in his voice. “Look, maybe you should talk to her. You’ve certainly got your foot in the door. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Elsa sighed. “You’re no help. Get back to work, I’ll bug Anna in 30.”

“Alright, talk at you soon, Elsa.” 

_ I am. It appears my sister Anna has been meddling again. Sorry about that. She thinks I don't socialize enough. But I hope your coffee was good! _

Friendly, but not too serious. Secretly, Elsa hoped the woman texted her back as she turned back to her stove. And sure enough, a small buzz went off, making her heart flutter.

_ Well it's nice to meet you regardless. I'm Honeymaren, but my friends call me Maren. It was actually tea and it was delicious! Well even if your sister is a trickster maybe we could get together and talk some time? Always nice to have more friends. _

Elsa felt the blood rushing to her face, infinitely glad she was home alone at the moment. Honeymaren- no Maren- wanted to be friends? This was not how she was expecting this night to go. She was still certainly irritated that Anna had given her phone number out without telling her. But maybe this was worth pursuing.

_ I teach MWF until 3:00 but after that one day? Or TR my schedule is a bit more flexible. _

She sent out the message before she could chicken out. Why was she even nervous? It was just an offer to hang out. "Because you've had an anxiety disorder since you were 12, stupid," she mumbled. She called herself a name, she noted. "Not stupid. Reframe the thought. You're just feeling bashful. It's okay to have nerves." Recovery was annoying to remember sometimes.

The buzz took her attention again.

_ I teach everyday haha. How is Tuesday at 4:00? Maybe we could grab a coffee and take a walk? _

It made her smile. Anna would probably tease the poor girl relentlessly, but they wouldn't be in the shop long even if she did. 

_ That sounds perfect. _

Elsa was still going to yell at her sister later. But maybe this wouldn't be so bad.

\---

"Mare, you're going to get coffee and go for a walk. It's not that big of a deal."

Maren sighed as she drove them. She had decided to drive Ryder to the gym so that she had an out if need be. "It just feels this way. I don't know, something just feels different."

Ryder rolled his eyes, situating himself. "You're a math teacher, not an English teacher. Stop reading too much into this and enjoy yourself."

Maren stuck her tongue out at her brother. “You only say that because you haven’t been on a date since we were 16.”

“Low blow.” He dramatically turned away from her, staring out the window. 

“Doesn’t make it any less true,” she teased affectionately as she pulled into the gym’s parking lot. “Get going, you bum. Your boys are waiting. See you around 6:00?”

He gave her a light shove with his backpack. “Yeah. Let me know if you all need a little longer. Or a hotel room.”

Maren shoved her brother right back. “Now who’s reading too much in things?”

“Always be prepared and remember a condom!” Ryder laughed as he left the car. He blew her a kiss, and she flipped him off. Traditional parting words. 

Maren knew she was overthinking. Like her brother had said, it really was just a cup of coffee and a walk. Even if she hoped that perhaps this could become something more. She barely knew anything about Elsa. She was her favorite barista’s sister. She spent an inordinate amount of time reading about microbiology and glaciers. She was the most gorgeous woman Maren had ever met in her life. That wasn’t much if anything to build a relationship on. And yet, she still felt that desire to know more. 

Before she knew it, she had pulled into the parking lot of Mermaid’s Siren. It was packed as always for the time of day. Perhaps it really was better that they were going out instead of enjoying a cup in the cafe. They’d have more privacy to say the least.

Entering the cafe, she couldn’t see the girl’s signature platinum blonde hair anywhere. It had always fascinated her, she had never seen someone with hair like that that seemed natural. Perhaps it was natural, it just seemed odd in contrast to her sister’s vibrant red hair. Taking a deep breath, she headed to the register and gave her order to the barista- it was one of the younger kids today. She thanked the young girl, paid, and went to a table to wait. 

Thankfully, she didn’t have to wait long. Elsa ran into the cafe a few minutes later obviously a bit panicked over her lateness. “Elsa?” she asked cautiously.

“Hi- um- Hi, Maren,” Elsa said, clearly out of breath. “I’m- I’m sorry I’m late. Were you waiting long?”

“No, not long at all,” Maren gave a small laugh. Elsa was cute when she was flustered like this. The few stray strands falling out of her braid only exaggerated the feeling. “Go ahead and order. There’s no rush.” Elsa hurried off with a silent thanks. Maren couldn’t wait to see where this would go.

\---

“So you’re a teacher too?” 

“Sort of. Graduate student, teaching assistant, researcher, somewhat a professor? It’s a big mess when you get to the doctoral level as far as what your actual job is. But it pays enough for the apartment and the cats, so who am I to complain?”

Elsa could feel herself truly relaxed as they walked, something she hadn’t felt with a stranger in quite some time. Maren had suggested that they went to walk over to a nearby park and there couldn’t have been a better idea. The leaves were just starting to change color as the early autumn breeze brushed by them. It was quiet but not silent and everything just felt right.

Elsa’s thoughts on her employment made Maren laugh. It was such a beautiful sound, something she wished would never vanish. “Well, at least they pay you better than me. Teaching 150 eleven-year-olds does not pay as much as I put in. But like they say, you don’t get into education for the money.”

“Isn’t that the truth,” Elsa agreed. “If you take out the tuition remission, I’d say it’s a lot closer than you think.” The worries started to creep in the back of her head. You weren’t supposed to talk about things like wages and pay on a first date. No no, that establishes some power dynamic. Wait was this even a date? It felt like a date. But she didn’t even know-

Maren nodded oblivious to Elsa’s worries. “I’m sure I’ll know soon enough. I wanna go back and get my masters soon. I just- I love it so much and want to know even more, be that about math or about teaching. Did you have to take the GRE?”

Elsa sighed, happy the topic had changed to a more neutral topic. “Unfortunately yes. I’m a biologist! I shouldn’t have to go and take a vocabulary test there is no list to study from!”

Maren laughed again making Elsa’s heart warm. “Precisely! I’m just having so much trouble studying for it because of that. It’s stupid. They should just keep the argument and math sections. Those are the important ones. Or at least weight them differently based on your programs.”

A lightbulb went off in Elsa’s mind. “Well, I could help you study if you want? I did pretty well, 165.” Shit. Power dynamics again. She needed to stop this before she came off as some arrogant-

“Seriously? I would love that!” 

Thank goodness. The anxieties melted as Elsa smiled and nodded at her. “Absolutely. Maybe this weekend? We could meet up at the cafe again, get some things started? I’m sure I’ve got my notes still.”

“Perfect. The only thing I have going is brunch with my parents and Ryder- shit!” Maren’s eyes widened. “Sorry, I just, what time is it?”

Elsa waved her hand. “No no, don’t worry. I’ve said far worse before. 6:05. Got somewhere to be?”

“I was supposed to pick up my brother at 6:00. I’m sorry to cut this short,” Maren said, embarrassment evident. “But yes, let’s plan on this weekend. I’ll text you tonight.”

“Don’t worry about it, I understand,” Elsa said, calmness in her voice. “We’ll talk tonight.” 

Honeymaren smiled and reached for Elsa’s hands. She grabbed them, bringing them close to her face before pressing a light kiss on her knuckles. “I can’t wait. Until then, m’lady.”

“Good- good night then,” she sputtered, stunned by what just happened. 

Elsa stood in awe watching as Maren walked back to her car, her mind playing the afternoon over and over again. She analyzed every interaction from how Maren had grabbed her hand running to look at the lake to the way she listened to her talk about microbiology. She was too anxious for this kind of thing. Or too gay. Or both.

Her phone buzzed bringing her attention back to the present.

_ Mermaid’s Siren 1PM Saturday? I’ll buy your coffee _

She smiled.

_ Perfect. _


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things with Elsa and Maren were going so well. Anna can't help but try and make a match for Kristoff.

"...And she's taking her to dinner tomorrow night! I told you they would be perfect for each other!" Anna gloated. 

Kristoff gave her a half-smile. "Alright, you were right. Now scrub up and send Jake home. He's on drive-through."

"So you admit it! Ha!" Anna smiled back at him before giving him a fake salute. “To drive-though! Sir, yes, sir!” 

Kristoff's smile remained as she ran off, sending her co-worker home. Soon enough her voice rang through his headset. "Afternoon, everyone! How is it going?" She was always so kind and sweet to everyone, even if they didn't deserve it, standing up to the meanest customers with the kindest smiles. She would make a good trainer one day or even a shift manager if she wanted it. 

"Can I get a 10-4 from everyone here?" Kristoff asked over the set after Anna's question was generally answered. Slowly the four other employees chimed in, ready for instructions. "Everybody okay where they are right now?" There was another set of agreements. "Alright, hold down the fort, I'm gonna count tills and the do food pull. Kirsti, if front isn't busy, knock out some of the dish pile. Call me if it gets desperate."

"10-4!" Anna cheerfully said before responding to the order in the headset. "Thanks for choosing Mermaid's Siren! What can I get started for you today?"

Kristoff couldn't help but blush as he walked to the back. Even with the most basic script, her voice was melodic, dragging him in like the siren they worked for. He shook his head, redirecting his attention. He couldn't let himself think of her that way, not right now. Not only would it be an HR paperwork disaster, but it wasn't the right time. It was far too soon.

It had barely been four months since Elsa called him in desperation for him and his truck. He thought she was insane. She had asked him to drive with her to Denver- twenty hours of driving straight. Why would any person make a twenty hour drive that could easily be done in a two hour flight if she only waited a few days? The answer: Anna was in danger. Elsa couldn’t wait three days.

She had received pictures from her sister face bruised and bloody. A message saying that she was in danger, that there was a gun in the house. They had been fighting and Anna was afraid of it escalating to that point. Anna couldn’t call the cops- Hans was one of them after all. They would never believe that he was capable of such violence.

Elsa had called cops a county over, praying for the best and texting her sister the entire time. But the faster she got there the better. Twenty hours of driving was faster than three days of waiting, uncertain of her sister’s safety. She couldn’t lose Anna. Not again. 

They were there in sixteen hours.

When they pulled up to the house, cops from the county over were still there investigating and talking. Some defended Hans saying that Anna was being dramatic and that he wouldn’t shoot the gun in her house on purpose, while others remained impartial and stuck to the facts they knew: there was a gunshot, there was a bloodied and panicked woman inside, there were previous reports of potential domestic violence from this house. The foreign officers won out, sending Hans to the police station and away from the house. Kristoff was forever grateful for those cops who fought for her. They were the reason she was still with them.

He doesn’t even want to imagine a future where Hans had been allowed to reenter the home. 

The next two days were a blur of courtrooms, attorneys, and judges. Anna had been granted a temporary restraining order. This wasn't the end, but it was enough for now. They grabbed as many of her possessions as she could fit in his truck. A haphazard job, but that didn’t matter. Anna was safe, and she would be okay.

Kristoff shuddered, remembering that awful day. The feeling of fear, the scent of blood on Anna’s clothes, the panic in Elsa’s eyes. And for as much as it affected him, he knew it was a thousand times worse for Anna. Though she was bubbly now, he remembered the ghostly look in her eyes the first few weeks, the way she wouldn’t let anyone aside from Elsa touch her for a month. 

This wasn’t the time for romantic gestures.. He couldn’t do that to her. She was hurt and needed to heal. She trusted him, and he was not about to take advantage of that trust. Anna was his friend above all else, even if his own feelings were squashed in the process.

So he would keep quiet, let other romantic interests pique his curiosity. 

And Ryder certainly did that. Whenever the young man came in after his workouts, Kristoff couldn’t help but stare at him, muscles swollen and flexed. He was handsome, and Kristoff would be lying if he said he didn’t think about him outside of work sometimes: kissing him, touching him, holding him. Even beyond the physical, his love for animals and beautiful craftsmanship made him weak in the knees. Last Christmas, he had made all of the baristas small wooden trinkets as gifts. He made Kristoff a bear and irony aside it was his most prized possession.

Maybe he should take a page from Anna’s book a leave his phone number on his cup. He laughed softly to himself; he had even thought of a cheesy pickup line to go with it. “This drink is sweet, but you’re even sweeter.” He never understood the man’s fascination for the sweet frappes- he thought he was a bodybuilder after all; shouldn’t that conflict with everything he did? But day in and day out, he was still glad to see him even if he had questionable taste in “coffee”. His golden smile could perk up any rough shift.

Kristoff felt himself drift into his thoughts again. Visions of the two of them dancing passed by. The lighting was soft and the music even softer. Some old folk song from his parents’ time played, and they swayed. Their dogs were lying on the couch, Sven happily watching while Nokk slept on like the tired bastard he was.

“Kristoff, I need you.” It was almost like he could actually hear Ryder saying it.

His heart warmed, and he imagined Ryder kissing his lips softly, imagined what he might taste like, imagined the way their skin felt against each other.

“Kristoff, I know you’re counting money, but we need you pronto!”

... except that wasn’t Ryder speaking. That was Anna.

Shit.

He shook his head and reoriented himself. He was at work. He was counting the day’s money. His crew was getting slammed out front. 

“I’m on my way.”

There would be time for dreaming later. 

\---

_ Clunk! _

A few days later, the sound of metal being dropped in front of him pulled Kristoff out of his stupor. The cafe had been quiet tonight, allowing some down time. They were caught up on tasks for once: no dishes needed doing, all the registers they could count were counted, and the bar was clean. In that time, Kristoff had caught himself watching the customers in the cafe. Well one particular customer: Ryder. 

“Anna, what are you doing?”

She had that glint in her eyes that he didn’t trust in the slightest. A french press was pushed in front of him, along with an array of snacks.

“I’m not doing anything,” she said, adding coffee grounds to the pitcher. “However,  _ you _ are giving a coffee tasting. Here is your blonde roast. Here are some lemon bars. I’ll finish up the dark roast. All you need to do is grab some pumpkin loaf and bring it to your boy over there.”

“What on Earth are you talking about? Ryder hates coffee. You know that. I know that. He's going to hate it. I don’t think that man’s ever ordered anything with less than 20 grams of sugar here.”

“And you are about to fix that. And your customer-connection score.” Those stupid scores that their district manager Yelena was obsessed with. It made him fume. Even if he didn't have the lowest individual score in the store, he would have thought they were stupid. He was the fastest barista; he could get all his tasks done far ahead of schedule of the other closing team. Why did matter how frequently smiled at customers or made eye contact? Eighty percent of them were just hoping he’d mess up so they could yell at him and get a free drink anyway.

Kristoff sighed. “But Ryder already tolerates me? What’s the point?”

“You need practice. Go. Make a coffee lover out of that boy.” Anna shoved her finger into his back, pushing him towards the cafe. “Or a regular lover,” she said under her breath. 

“Says the girl whose only coffee tasting was her first day of training.” He gave her a good hard eye roll, but it made her grin seeing him sigh once again before taking over the tray. “This isn’t going to work.” He wandered over to Ryder’s table anyway.

Anna was happy he was trying again. She had known about his less than pleasant dealings with love before they met. She had heard the stories in passing from Elsa when she talked of their early friendship. The girls who wouldn’t give him a chance because they thought he was secretly gay. The boys who turned him away for “actual gay men”. The woman he had been with for three years before deciding that he wasn’t enough for her. It broke her heart.

That’s why she wanted this so badly for him. 

Kristoff deserved love, no matter what he said. And just like with her sister, all he needed was a little push. If she was lucky, then Ryder could give that to him.

He could give it to her in a way she couldn’t.

Kristoff was wonderful. He was sweet and kind, even if he could be abrasive with customers. He was a no nonsense kind of guy. The kind of guy that the old Anna could have fallen in love with in a minute’s notice.

But that’s how Hans had been too, and look how that turned out. 

Anna couldn’t let herself be vulnerable, not again. It had nearly gotten her killed last time. So no matter how nice Kristoff was or how good he was with his dog or how well he took care of her, she couldn’t let herself love him. Not now. 

But finding him someone in Ryder? It felt right.

Anna halfway watched the coffee tasting, the other half keeping her focus on the occasional order that came in. She giggled silently to herself as Kristoff told him of the prospect of drinking coffee black. It was something that almost made her gag her first day too. But it was quite the exercise in taste, one that was easily bonded over. Ryder played along nicely it seemed. She didn’t seem him spit out any of the coffee, timidly drinking it to appease Kristoff. It was cute. 

A small rush pulled her away from the scene before she could see the ending of their tasting. But when Kristoff came back, there was certainly something different. He wrote out a medium cup and added it to her queue before taking over the registers for her.

“Raspberry mocha for Ryder!” 

He did it. Anna didn’t think it made Ryder a coffee lover yet, but this was the first time he ever ordered actual coffee. She didn’t get to ask Ryder himself about this particular decision, but she couldn’t help but wonder what he did to get from the scrunched up face to a full on espresso beverage.That must have been one hell of a coffee tasting.

“I’m assuming by the latte, the tasting went well,” she asked teasingly. 

Kristoff ignored her, shaking his head. Then he pulled out a note from his apron. It was a phone number and a quick message.

_ If I have to try your coffee, you’re coming to play ball at the gym with me. Friday - 7PM.  _

_ XOXO  _

_ Ryder _

Anna was two for two now, and she couldn’t have been happier. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twins are known for causing trouble. Ryder and Maren are no exception to this rule. So when their cousin's wedding comes around and they have the realization their partners don't know they know each other, shenanigans ensue.

It had been a month since their first walk and coffee. As the time passed, coffee dates became more frequent. Usually Maren would grade her students' assignments while Elsa read through research or graded her own students' papers and assessments. It was nice. Elsa would never admit it, but she liked having someone check in on her throughout the day. Anna was great, but having a real friend-

Well she wasn't exactly sure what to call Maren. They were definitely friends, but she wasn't sure if they were more than that. They went out a lot, but did that mean they were dating? But whatever they were, it was nice.

Elsa had cancelled their study session this afternoon, her monthly cycle rendering her useless to anything other than lying on the couch in pain. And yet, here Maren was cuddling next to her while they watched a sitcom on Netflix. Elsa was sure she was an angel, letting her lie against her and holding the heating pad over her cramping stomach. If she did much more for her, Elsa was pretty sure she would cry.

She must have dozed off at some point for she woke up with a blanket covering them both. Maren was singing softly in her ear, while gentle hands ran through her hair. Her head still ached, but the melody made her feel so safe and secure that her pain melted into the background. Elsa slowly opened her eyes, wanting to see the scene for herself.

"Good morning, snowflake," she said brushing a stray hair away. "Have a good nap?"

The nickname made her blush. It was something new, but something right. Elsa nodded slightly enough for Maren to feel against her chest. "How long was I out for?"

"Not long, maybe an hour. I paused our show."

"Thank you," she mumbled, sleep pulling at her eyes.

"You can go back to sleep," she said softly. "It would probably make you feel better. Your stomach still hurting? I could get you another ibuprofen."

Elsa shook her head. It was rude to sleep while a guest was there, even if she wasn't feeling her best. "Stay with you," she said, words slurred with sleep. "Don't wanna be a bad host."

Maren giggled, making Elsa's heart flutter. Why was she feeling like this from just a simple sound? "You're not a bad host. You can't be a bad host when you're sick."

"Not sick," Elsa mumbled, allowing herself to curl closer into Maren.

"Well you certainly don't feel good." Maren continued to stroke her hair, making loose braids as she spoke. "So go back to sleep and ignore mother nature for a bit. She'll still be there when you're ready to be awake."

Elsa hummed against her. "I'm ready to be awake."

Maren huffed a laugh. "Uh huh."

Elsa gave her own small laugh. "Talk to me. I wanna know what's going on in your world."

"My world, huh? Well I've got the most beautiful girl in the world laying against me." That made Elsa poke at her belly- she wanted to know about other things. "Alright alright. Well there was something I wanted to ask you about." Well that certainly perked her interest.

"My cousin is getting married in a few weeks and I was wondering if you would want to go as my plus one."

"As a date?" Was this her sign? Her way of asking her out?

"It's- it's okay if you don't. I know that we haven't been together long and if meeting my family makes you nervous that's okay. You- you don't have to."

Tears pricked in her eyes. "We're together?"

Maren's eyes went wide. "I thought we were? I thought that first day at the coffee shop was our first date?"

Elsa paled. Oh no, she didn't want Maren to think she wasn't interested. She just didn't know that she thought they were together. "I thought that you just wanted to be friends. I was trying to work up the nerve to ask you out. But now I think that might be moot."

Maren blushed, then got that little look in her eyes- the same one she saw in Anna's when she was about to be mischievous. "Well I'd hate for those nerves to go to waste. Would you like to ask me out?"

Elsa felt her heart start racing. "Now? But you- you already thought we were together?"

"But you didn't," she grabbed her hand and squeezed it right. "So let's get on the same page."

Elsa rubbed at her eyes with her free hand, smiling softly. "Will you, Honeymaren, go with me to a movie as soon as I am able to get off the couch without crying out in pain?"

"Oh, snowflake, I would happily. Pick the time and the day," she said teasingly bringing their hands to her face. She ran a hand through Elsa's hair again, noticing her eyes were getting heavy again. "Go back to sleep. We can talk about our date later. I'm getting you some ibuprofen."

Elsa nodded, letting herself fall back against the soft pillows. "I wanna go with you," she murmured.

"Go where, Els?" Maren asked, tucking the blanket around her sleepy form.

"To the wedding. I wanna go with you."

Maren grinned. "Then I'll send our RSVP tomorrow."

In her fleeting consciousness, Elsa couldn't help but feel happy. Maren wanted to be with her. Maren wanted her to meet her family. And that was something worth feeling happy about.

\---

"Oh who's a good boy? You're a good boy. Yes you are."

Ryder couldn't help but smile as Kristoff talked to the small dog in front of him. Volunteering at the animal shelter was something he had done since he was sixteen. Usually it was something he did alone. Sharing it with Kristoff was something different, but something right.

He was so good with the animals. It didn't shock him per se. The one time he had gone over to Kristoff's apartment, he saw how the man treated his dog. He was kind and gentle, a very different demeanor than what he usually saw at the coffeehouse.

But Ryder couldn't help but feel like he was doing something wrong. He saw the way that his sister blushed and got flustered over her girlfriend. She would talk about how her heart fluttered when she talked to Elsa or how she just wanted to be close to the other girl. Ryder was happy, but he didn't feel those kinds of things. If he thought about it, he never really felt that desire in his whole life.

He was happy with Kristoff. He made him smile. He had a little extra kick in his step when he entered Mermaid's Siren knowing the boy would be there. But why didn't he want to kiss Kristoff or touch him the way his sister wanted Elsa?

Ryder sighed. Maybe he was just a really late bloomer. He wanted those feelings, but they just weren't there.

Suddenly he felt a hand run through his messy hair. "Why so glum? We're in dog paradise." Kristoff smiled at him, going to sit next to him.

Ryder shook his head. "Just thinking, that's all."

Kristoff nodded with that knowing look. "Is it something that can be helped by Miss Samantha here?" In his arms was a border collie puppy, cuddling close.

Ryder smiled. "Anything can be fixed with a good girl like Miss Samantha." They petted and rubbed her a while, giving her plenty of love and attention. "The only bad thing about volunteering here is sometimes I just want to take them all home with me. That's how I got Nokk after all."

Kristoff nodded with that understanding look that made him melt. "Sven was a rescue too. But who rescued who is still up for debate."

"Yeah?" he asked, curiosity in his eyes.

"Yeah," he nodded again. "Things were tough for a long while. My biological parents died when I was eight. But one of the last things we did together was get Sven from the shelter. Ma and Pa wanted me to have someone to grow up with, even though they didn't want anymore kids. Pa and I picked him out together, this timid German Shepherd. And when Ma and Pa passed and I went to the system, by a miracle Sven was able to stay with me."

Ryder could tell that the story was a lot for Kristoff. His voice had changed and he kept his eyes down. He reached out a gentle hand. "I'm glad you had each other."

"Me too." Kristoff squeezed his hand back.

They didn't talk for a while after. It was an easy silence, working through the dogs' crates, cleaning them and giving them some love. It was nice.

"Hey, Kris?" Ryder eventually asked after a bit.

"Yeah?"

"I've been meaning to ask you. My cousin is getting married in a few weeks. I was wondering if you would want to go with me. I know it's really fast and it's okay if you don't want to and my family barely knows I'm gay but-"

Kristoff shut him up with a quick peck on the lips. "I would love to."

Ryder smiled, a bit dazed from the kiss. "Thank you." A kiss didn't feel like he thought it would. It was soft, sure, but it didn't give him that famous spark everyone talked about. He shook his head, willing himself to return to that topic later. "It's a date then."

"It's a date."

\---

"You mean you both got invited to a wedding for the same day? What are the odds of that?" Anna asked as she worked on breakfast. Sunday breakfast at the sisters' apartment had become a staple since Anna had moved in. It gave a sense of consistency in a time when everything was changing so quickly around them. Because no matter what stress Elsa's lab brought her or how many rude customers Anna and Kristoff dealt with, pancakes and hash browns and homebrewed coffee made everything better.

"It would appear so," Kristoff said setting plates on the table. "Wonder if it's the same wedding."

"It could be," Elsa said, shrugging in her dark blue blanket. "Mine is a local wedding. I wouldn't be surprised if Honeymaren and Ryder had similar friends."

"Still it just seems odd to me." Anna pondered for a minute as she prepared the potatoes. "Do you two even have anything to wear?"

"Jeans and a button down." They both responded in almost perfect unison.

Anna dropped her spatula. "Oh no you're not. You are not going to a wedding in jeans and a flannel. It's not the end all be all of fashion, guys."

"Says the one in Spiderman pajamas," Elsa teased, moving to flick her sister playfully.

"First off, it's breakfast. We always do breakfast in pajamas. And second off, you two are getting nice clothes for this wedding iI swear to God." She hurriedly finished the food, putting it on the table. "Eat up. We're going shopping after breakfast."

Elsa and Kristoff groaned in unison knowing there was no getting out of this one.

\---

“Well don’t you look nice?” Anna teased, looking at her best friend and sister. “Didn’t I tell you this would be better than jeans and flannel? You look like someone I’m proud to claim.”

Elsa rolled her eyes, going to give her sister a gentle knock on the head. “Perhaps, but you know I don’t like admitting when you’re right.” She was stunning in a pair of dress slacks and a silk blue top. Her hair was styled in a gorgeous braided updo, something befitting a queen. Between the hair and her delicate makeup, Anna swore she looked like their mother.

“It takes all the fun out of it,” Kristoff teased. He too looked handsome. Anna finally convinced him to get a pair of pants fitted for him instead of the loose fitting pants he usually wore. They looked perfect on him, highlighting assets that Ryder would be more than thrilled to see. He wore a pale green button down with a black tie.

“Oh shush, both of you.” Anna smiled swatting back at her sister. “Can’t I give you guys compliments?”

“You can, but we might be snarky back. Isn’t that right, Elsa?”

“Absolutely.” Elsa leaned down and pressed a kiss to her sister’s head. “You sure you’ll be alright?”

“I’m fine, promise.” Anna stroked Bruni softly where he laid on the couch. “I have three cats and Netflix. I can occupy myself for a night.”

“Just call if you need anything. You know I’ll come home.” It made Anna roll her eyes a bit. She knew her sister was just being protective, but she deserved some fun too.

“I know you will.” Anna gave her sister’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “Now get going! You’re going to be late!”

Soon after receiving their invitations, Kristoff and Elsa realized they were in fact going to the same wedding. Maren and Ryder apparently had been friends since they were babies in an odd twist of fate. It was weird, but Elsa took solace in the fact that she would be able to stay with both Maren and Kristoff at the wedding. Her social anxiety was improving, but events like this could still serve as a trigger sometimes.

“Go get yourself a drink. It’ll settle your nerves,” Maren encouraged as they waited around for the bridal party at the reception. The ceremony itself had come and gone without much stress. It was a little long; Elsa didn’t realize they had been pulled into a Catholic wedding, but Maren held her hand the whole time making it a bit easier to bear.

The reception however brought its own set of issues. There were too many people, too much noise. The music wasn’t playing yet, but she knew it would be coming soon. Elsa stammered over to the bar. She usually hated alcohol, but she wanted to get through the night. She wanted to enjoy herself and enjoy herself with Maren, not hiding in the bathroom. Elsa ordered a neat whiskey praying it would be enough.

“Better?” Maren asked when she returned.

Elsa kept her head down, but nodded. She wasn’t going to ruin this night for Maren.

“Snowflake, you don’t have to lie to me.”

Elsa bit her lip, head still down. “This is just a lot. It makes it hard to breathe, and I don’t want to ruin your night and I don’t want to leave but I don’t want to be here either and my head is fuzzy and I can’t think and-”

“Elsa.”

Maren took her hands, holding tight. It brought her out of her head and back in the moment. “Let’s go for a walk and see how you feel then okay? I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay somewhere that’s making you upset.” Elsa nodded. “Come on.”

The walk helped. Her focus slowly returned and breathing calmed. Maren spoke sweet nothings in her ear, letting her ride the wave of anxiety however she needed to. Elsa was glad she was here, kind and gentle. It wasn’t the first anxiety attack she had in front of Maren, but it was the first when they were alone.

“Thank you,” she mumbled into Maren’s shoulder as they approached the building.

“Anytime.”

The rest of the reception went without much fanfare. Speeches were made, dances were had, and dinner was decent. Elsa found herself having an alright time, alternating between the dance floor and outside for air. It was good.

“Ryder! Maren!” The bride ran up towards their table. “I have to get a picture together with my favorite twins!”

“We’re the only twins you know, Lena,” Ryder teased, coming up and hugging the young woman. “Come on, little sister!”

Maren got up quickly, elbowing him. “Ten minutes doesn’t make that much of a difference.”

Twins? Her girlfriend and her best friend’s boyfriend were twins?

“Kristoff, how-”

“I don’t-”

“Maren never mentioned any siblings.”

“Ryder either.”

“Did they just forget to tell us?”

“Well...” Maren dragged off, rejoining the conversation. “At first yes. But then a few days ago, we realized it was something we should mention. And then someone thought this would be a fun way to find out.”

“Hey! You agreed to it!” Ryder piped in.

“Yeah, yeah I did.” Maren got down in front of Elsa holding her hand. “Are you mad at me?”

Elsa shook her head. It was good natured and funny, how could she be mad? It would take a little bit to the idea that Kristoff’s boyfriend was related to her girlfriend. “This just means that Anna isn’t the only trickster in our group. Now go take a picture with your cousin!”

Secrets could hurt sometimes, but they could be fun sometimes too. 

Elsa decided she like the fun secrets.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas was different this year, and Anna is having trouble adjusting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: PTSD and mentions of domestic abuse

"Oh come on! How was that supposed to be Santa Claus?"

"He's got a hat! And a bag and a sleigh!"

"If you can call those circles that, Krissy, we may need to get your eyes checked."

Anna smiled as she watched her family. Christmas magic filled the air as she watched her sister and friends squabble over pictionary. In the weeks leading up, Anna had been worried. It was the first Christmas she had spent without Hans in almost seven years after all.

She still missed him some days. Missed the way that he would cuddle and coddle her on his good days. The kisses and the flowers to make up for all the bruises and drunken arguments. Anna knew she was right to get out of there. His bad traits far outweighed the good, and at her core she knew that. She might not even be alive if Elsa and Kristoff hadn't come and got her out that day.

But some part of her still missed him, or perhaps she just missed the feeling of being a part of a couple. The feeling came in waves, apparent small moments that would seem insignificant to others. Like now, their pictionary game was divided up into teams of couples or times when Elsa and Kristoff would go on double dates. While other times, the thought of being with someone paralyzed her with fear, never wanting to love someone like that again. The bruises on her skin may have healed, but the ones on her heart hadn't.

Elsa had gotten her started with a therapist when she moved into her sister’s apartment. Elsa knew well enough that Anna wasn’t alright, even before Anna would admit it to herself. She was having nightmares every night, wasn't leaving the house, wouldn't talk to anyone aside from her sister. Anna needed more help than she could provide alone. Therapy helped to bring her back to her feet. She felt less jumpy, less afraid overall when she talked with the therapist. She had a job now, and money of her own to spend without guilt from Hans. She was healing, but other wounds still needed more time.

Even though she was nervous, something felt better about this Christmas. The California rain replaced the picturesque Colorado snow she was used to, but it was beautiful in its own way. While others might describe the weather as less than ideal, it felt homey to Anna. The decorations she and Elsa put up felt real and authentic compared to the decor Hans arranged to be put up every year. And a December 23rd with pizza and good friends was most definitely better than a December 24th with caviar and her high society "friends".

"Come on, Anna! Your turn, siblings versus siblings!" Ryder called coming over to give her a shake on the arm. Anna reflexively jerked backwards. She tried to brush it off, but Ryder noticed. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Let's go play." Anna gave him a half smile. "Elsa and I are going to kick your butts!"

"Oh no you aren't!"

\---

Anna woke up to a scream the next morning coming from Elsa's room. She bolted out of bed, running to her big sister's bedroom.

"What happened? Are you hurt?" Anna asked before she was able to take in the scene.

"Anna! Amundsen! They- they approved our grant! Oh my god, oh my god!" Elsa squealed in a way that Anna had never seen before. She pulled her laptop screen and showed it to Anna. "Dr. Porter and Ms. Arendelle, we here at Amundsen-Scott South Pole Station are happy to inform you that the National Science Foundation has approved your grant for an extended stay in Antarctica for your study on microorganisms in glacial environments!"

Anna's eyes widened as she realized what her sister was saying. Elsa and her advisor had been working on that grant for months with a hope and prayer for their dream project. "Elsa, that's amazing!" She grabbed Elsa into a tight hug.

"I- I can't believe it's actually gonna happen." Elsa wiped at her eyes, trying and failing to stop her tears. "I've dreamed about it for so long. It doesn't seem real."

Anna gave Elsa a squeeze. "It very much is real, Elsie, very much so. That's one hell of a Christmas present though. I'm not sure Maren or I will be able to match that," she teased.

"Oh hush," Elsa teased.

"Says the one screaming at 7:30 in the morning."

Elsa blushed heavily with her eyes softening. "Sorry. I couldn't help it." Her eyes drifted to her girlfriend lying in bed softly snoring. "I'm surprised I didn't wake her up."

"Vodka can certainly work some magic," Anna laughed. "...among other things."

"Anna!" she scolded playfully. "We haven't done...whatever it is you're insinuating."

"Sure you haven't." Anna rolled her eyes before taking her sister's hand. "Come on! We've got celebratory pancakes to make!"

Elsa smiled, allowing her sister to drag her to the kitchen. "Chocolate chip?"

"What kind of celebration would it be without them?"

\---

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day went by in a blur. There was plenty of good food and cheer all around as Anna and Elsa jumped from house to house. Ever since their parents had passed five years ago, Christmas was spent with found families of all shapes and sizes.

Elsa had grown to love Christmas in a way she hadn't as a child. Their parents were kind and loving and there was never a lack of presents, but it couldn't compare to extravagance of Christmas Eve with Kristoff's family. A house filled to the brim with children and adults, where dinner was eaten on knees over good conversation, and no one was alone. The first time he brought her, it was overwhelming and scary. But now, it was something to look forward to, something she was glad to share with Anna.

Bulda, a portly woman of 50, accepted the two of them as if they were part of the family, no questions asked. Well that was a lie. Plenty of people asked them plenty of questions there: what was she studying now, had she been eating enough lately, how long until we can call you Dr. Elsa? But those were questions she would happily answer, questions that were simply part of being in a family.

Anna thrived with Kristoff's family. There were plenty of kids she could run around with and entertain. She told stories about Christmas in Colorado where the snow came from all angles and how it always snowed on Christmas like the songs said. It brought joy to Elsa's heart to see Anna so happy. Her younger sister had always wanted a large family, and it thrilled her to see Anna get what she always desired. Bring with Kristoff's family was a dream come true.

Christmas with Maren's family was calmer in comparison. It was a far more formal affair, and Elsa couldn't help but feel a bit uptight. She had met some of them at the wedding, but it was still nerve-wracking. She wanted to impress, but it proved challenging when all the men sat stiffly with their cigars and the other women were engaged in conversations of marriage and motherhood and white picket fences. Elsa was used to sticking out, but it didn't make it any easier.

"It's okay," Honeymaren whispered in her ear during dinner."That's just how Dad's family is at these things. They're showboating."

"It didn't feel this tight at the wedding," she muttered. "What's different?"

"There's no open bar here."

But soon enough, the day's festivities came to a close. Anna and Elsa ended their night together, just the way they wanted. They exchanged presents with one another before curling up to watch an old Christmas movie.

"Did you have a good day?" Elsa asked running an easy hand through her sister's hair.

"I did," Anna said, resting her head against Elsa's side. "Did you?"

Elsa hummed in agreement. "We were together. That's all I've wanted for so long."

Suddenly, she felt hot tears falling into her side. Elsa looked down to see her sister crying. "Anna, what's wrong?" she asked, wiping away her tears.

"It's my fault we haven't been together all those years! If I just left him! If I didn't believe his lies! We could have- we could have!" Anna broke into heavy sobs in her sister's arms.

Elsa felt her heart shatter, just like it did every time Anna blamed herself. She would be damned if that manipulative asshole ruined Anna's first Christmas in forever though. "Anna. Look at me," she said gently. Elsa knew firsthand how easily scared Anna could get in this state. "You are not at fault for his choices and what he did to you and how he made you feel. You did what you thought was right. And I never want you to think that I'm upset because you did what you needed to survive."

Anna sobbed loudly in her arms while Elsa rubbed soft circles on her back. "I love you more than anyone or anything, Anna. You are not unworthy of that love, regardless of anything that has happened in our past or anything that will happen in our future. Do you understand?"

Anna nodded as she clinged to Elsa. Her tears were starting to slow, but she still felt so so much. "Thank you."

"Why don't we get ready for bed? It's been a long day for both of us," Elsa suggested, looking around the room at their three cats, happily sleeping.

Anna nodded again. "Can I sleep in your bed tonight? I don't... I don't wanna be alone right now."

Elsa stood and offered a hand to her sister. "Only if you bring your own blanket. You're a blanket hog!" she teased.

Anna smiled, taking her hand. "At least I don't talk in my sleep!"

"You can put headphones on and ignore my lectures. There's nothing I can do about a cold bed!" It made them both laugh. "Come on, you stinker, let's go."

Anna fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, while Elsa's insomnia visited her yet again. But for once, she didn't mind. The day was great. Her grant was approved. She spent a lovely day with Maren and her family. But best of all, her sister was safe and sound, and they were together. That truly was the greatest present of all.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anna and the no good, terrible, bad day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone! May your year be better than the girls' situations in this chapter!

Anna was absolutely miserable. Today was one of the worst shifts she had worked in a while. It was a happy hour day, meaning the store was more packed than normal and customers were grumpier than normal when their coupons wouldn't work. She had been scheduled to close with her least favorite shift manager- the one who always seemed to have it out for her, always giving her the positions she hated most with no reprieve. A headache started building mid shift, and her nose was getting stuffy. That didn't even mention the awful email from this morning. She just wanted to go home and let this awful day end.

Thankfully her shift did in fact end, and Anna made it home to her cozy apartment. She entered quietly in hopes her older sister was actually sleeping for once. Now that her grant had been approved, the planning and research kept her far busier than she was before. And even still, Elsa was insistent on keeping up with her social affairs as if she didn't have an extra ten hours of work per week.

Anna was glad to see Elsa sleeping on the couch, a research article and highlighter in hand. She had worked herself to exhaustion again. Perhaps it was time for bed for both of them.

Before Anna could wake her sister gently, the tickle in her nose escaped in a loud sneeze.

_ Het-schoo! Het-schoo! _

"Anna, you alright?"

Damn it.

"'m fine, Els," she said, her voice stuffy and congested.

Elsa looked up at her with concerned eyes. "Pretty sure the word 'fine' doesn't have a 'd' in it." Before she was even able to protest, another sneeze ripped through her chest, and Elsa had a hand on her forehead. "You're warm."

Anna sniffled pitifully, reaching out for a tissue. "Just a cherry on top of this day."

"Happy hour was that good huh?" Elsa asked moving off the couch and walking out of the room. "Well I don't think you'll be worrying about work tomorrow at least."

"If they'll even let me off," Anna murmured, curling herself into one of the blankets the cats hadn't taken over.

"They can't do anything if you've got a doctor's note," she said returning with a thermometer. "Open." Anna complied, letting her big sister coddle her a bit. She felt awful, and Elsa was helping: there was no reason to fight it.

Elsa brushed stray hairs out of her face, getting another feel of her forehead. Elsa's hands were always nice and cool; Anna wished they could stay like that forever. "101.2. I think you've earned yourself a sick day," Anna groaned lying against the couch, utterly exhausted. "Come on, let's get you to bed."

Elsa helped pick her up, and guided her to her bedroom. "Thank you, Els," she murmured, sleepily crawling into bed. Olaf jumped into bed, curling himself close to her chest. "Hi, Olaf. Come to keep me company?" The white kitten snuggled himself in, a tiny ball of warmth. Soon enough, Bruni followed behind, curling up at her feet. "Thank you, you two."

Elsa smiled and gave both of the cats a rub on the head. "Take care of her, boys." She then gave Anna a tender kiss on the head. "Get some rest. You know where I am if you need anything."

Anna was fast asleep before she could reply.

\---

_ "I'll have a grande americano, with two sugar packets, please." _

_ "Can I get a name for the order?" _

_ "Hans." _

_ Anna looked up, eyes bulging. Hans was there in front of her with those stupid sideburns and that dumb tie she hated so much. What was he doing here? He wasn't supposed to be here. How did he know where she was? _

_ "Yes, sir." She wouldn't acknowledge it was him. Maybe he didn't even know it was her.  _

_ "Not even going to make eye contact, dear? I know your mother taught you better than that. Come and give your fiancé a hug." _

_ Anna shuddered. "You're not my fiancé. You can't be here. I have a restraining order against you!" _

_ "No piece of paper is going to keep me away from you. What are you gonna do? Cry about it? Run home to your big sister? Well guess what, dearie. There's no one out there who loves you. I'm all you've got." _

_ "No! That's not true!" She could feel his hands wrap around her hips. How did he get behind the counter like that? This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be happening. This couldn’t be happening. "That's not true!" _

_ "That's what you think." Anna felt a cool metal against her back. "Pull a stunt like this again and it'll be more than the gun in your back." _

_ "No, no, no, no!" Anna screamed. "Help! Kristoff! Elsa! Anybody!"  _

\---

Elsa bolted out of bed, waking from her sister's screams. She ran into Anna's bedroom, watching as she thrashed about, almost as if she was running away from something. She pressed the back of her hand onto Anna's forehead confirming her suspicions: her fever was spiking, no doubt making her nightmares worse.

"Anna, shhhh, shhhh," she soothed, stroking her hair. Elsa was careful to wake her, trying not to scare her further. Anna had suffered enough already. "It's just a dream, sunshine. You're safe. It was just a dream."

Anna's eyes opened suddenly, fear evident. "Elsa," she rasped, hot tears falling from her eyes. 

"You're okay, you're okay." Elsa rocked her sister back and forth, giving her whatever comfort she could. "Your fever's getting worse. Will you let me take your temperature and get you some medicine?"

Anna shook her head violently. "He's gonna get me. He's gonna win and he'll find me," she cried. 

"Who, sunshine?"

"Hans," she choked out, struggling with a coughing fit.

Elsa patted her sister's back, trying to bring her breathing back to normal. "He's not allowed anywhere near you, remember? He's not gonna get you."

"But- but- but-" Anna was cut off by coughs again. "They- they said he's fighting against the permanent order. He's going to win and he's gonna get me!" she sobbed. 

"Anna, honey, no that's not true," she soothed.

But Anna shook her head, relentless. "They emailed me yesterday. The lawyers- they think he's gonna win."

Elsa tried to hide the worry in her eyes. It wasn't possible. They had done everything they could to ensure he could never touch her again. And yet, here he was getting another chance. She wanted to look at that email and give the lawyers a piece of her mind, but now wasn't the time. Anna needed her.

Elsa held her sister close, continuing to rock her back and forth. "I won't let anything happen to you. I promise. I told you that night he would never get to you again. And I intend to keep that promise." 

Anna nodded against her chest. "I don't feel good, Elsie."

"I know you don’t, love. I know," she soothed, more concerned than before. She hadn't called Elsa by that name since they were children. Poor thing. "I'm going to get you some medicine, okay? And then we'll take care of everything else as it comes." Gently, she pulled the covers back over her feverish sister. "I'll be right back."

Leaving to grab supplies, Elsa kept it together until she reached the sanctity of their bathroom. She let a single tear fall and then refocused herself. Anna needed her to be strong, and strong she was going to be.

\---

"You okay?"

Maren's words pulled her out of her thoughts. Elsa couldn't stop thinking. She had spent all day with the lawyers discussing what could be done with Anna's case to prevent the worst case scenario. She was falling behind on her lab work and grading papers for her undergrad students. On top of it she was worried about Anna. It had been four days and her fever was still hanging on with little reprieve.

"Fine, Mare," she said a little too curt.

Maren frowned at her. "You sure? You aren't coming down Anna's cold are you?" She tried to touch at Elsa's forehead, only for Elsa to swat it away. 

"I'm fine, Maren," she said a little more sternly than she intended. Elsa could feel the tension throughout her body. She knew it wasn't Maren's fault she was upset, but it felt like her emotions had their own mind right now. She sighed. "I'm sorry I'm being cranky. Forgive me?"

Maren looked at her with concerned eyes. "If you tell me what's going on."

Elsa rubbed at her eyes. "I can't, Maren. I can't burden you with this."

"Elsa. You're my girlfriend. It's not burdening for you to talk about your problems with me."

Elsa sighed again. "This isn't your fight. Please leave it alone. I can't talk about it."

"Why not?"

"I just can't. Please." Why did Maren have to have that stupid stubborn disposition? Why couldn't she just drop it?

"What are you so afraid of happening if you do? Let me help you." Maren said, frustration evident in her voice. Elsa shut down, unable to do anything else. She couldn't tell her, not now. She just couldn't. "Oh now you're gonna go quiet on me? Real mature, Elsa."

Honeymaren stood up from their table, shoving the chair in a bit too hard. "Come back to me when you're ready to act like an adult."

"Honey, wait!"

But it was too late. Homeymaren had walked out and left. Elsa sat there in shock, a tear rolling down her cheek. Why did she have to ruin everything?

_ Hiht-choo! _

As if the day couldn't get any worse. How had everything gone so wrong so quickly? She was just trying to protect Anna. And yet here she was in a cafe, anxious and scared and probably sick with no sense of direction. 

"Conceal, don't feel. Conceal, don't feel."

She hadn't said her father's mantra in years. It wasn't healthy, but she needed it. She needed the feeling of her father's guidance. Pushing her emotions away may have ran Maren away, but it protected Anna. That was all that mattered. Elsa couldn't- no, wouldn't- let her down again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maren is still upset after walking out on Elsa, but it's hard to put her pride down long enough to talk. But she's glad she came anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...i couldn't help myself

"I just don't understand why she can't tell me what's wrong. Obviously there's something, and maybe I could help if she would just let me in!" Maren said in frustration as Ryder drove.

It had been three days since Maren had walked out on Elsa in the cafe, and she hadn't heard from the woman since. What was so bad that Elsa couldn't bring herself to talk about? It wasn't like they hadn't had deep conversations before. They had talked about everything from miscarriages to the death of parents to mental health crises. What was so bad Elsa couldn't even name?

"Have you considered the chance that maybe she's still processing whatever it is? And that she wants some sort of grasp before she tries to talk about it with someone else?" Ryder suggested, eyes focused on the open road ahead of them. There was no destination today, but Maren had a feeling that Ryder was doing this so she would talk candidly. They had never been good at a direct face-to-face conversation. Driving provided an easy environment for them both.

"Maybe, but she's my girlfriend, Ry. I'm supposed to be there to help her with stuff," she exasperated. All she wanted was to be there for Elsa. Why was that so hard?

"You may be her girlfriend, but she's still her own person. She's allowed to keep her secrets if she wants. That's just something she does. Have you tried talking to her about it?"

Maren shook her head. "I told her to come back when she was ready to be mature about things. She needs to come to me first."

Ryder raised an eyebrow. "But is that fair? You're the one who walked out on her because she wasn't talking. Do you really think that's the best way to get what you want?"

Maren rolled her eyes. "No, but- but- I don't know!"

"Then put your stubbornness aside and apologize. She may have done things wrong, but so did you." Ryder said, looking at her. "You yelled at her for not opening up when you knew full well the shit show that the last week has been for her with Anna being so sick.

"Look I don't know Elsa as well as you do, obviously, but I do know this: she internalizes her feelings while you externalize your feelings. If you guys are gonna make this work, you’re gonna have to learn to deal with that."

Maren looked stunned at her brother. Where the hell had all that come from? Her brother had grown a lot from that flighty boy who wouldn't talk to anyone for anything. Maren laid her head back on the seat. "When did you get so wise?"

"I'm dating a self-proclaimed love expert who was raised by actual love expert marriage counselors. You pick up on this kind of shit," he said simply. Ryder sighed, turning the car back towards home. 

Maren could hear the sadness in her brother's sigh. She was far more adept at her brother's emotions than anyone else's. "Well, I may not be able to pick at my girlfriend's mind right now, but I can pick at yours. What's running in that pretty little head of yours?"

Ryder gave a hint of a laugh. "Just trying to solve all the world's problems today, aren't you?"

She nudged her brother in the shoulder. "Maybe," she said with a slight smile.

"You're worse than Anna about meddling!" he teased.

"Am not!" Maren slapped her brother's shoulder.

"Hey! Hey! No hitting the driver!" Ryder called out laughing. "And answering your question would require whiskey, and considering we both have work tomorrow, that is not an option."

Maren rolled her eyes. "So you're not going to tell me? Even after everything I've gone through with Elsa?"

"Dramatic much?" he asked, mirroring her eye roll. "We'll talk about it Friday. I promise." 

Ryder held out a pinky that Maren happily linked. "Friday," she agreed. 

"And in the meantime, you are going to your girlfriend's and talking this out."

"As you command, Mr. Love Expert."

\---

"Hi, Maren! I wasn't expecting to see you today." Maren was greeted at the door by a sleepy looking Anna. She looked much healthier than the last time she had been by. Her face had more color, and she seemed far perkier.

"Hi, Anna. How are you feeling?"

"Tired still," she admitted coughing in the sleeve of her sweatshirt. "But what can you expect when you get the flu and strep throat at the same time?"

"Oh, Anna, that's terrible," Maren frowned. "I'm sorry. Have they been able to give you anything to make you feel better?"

Anna nodded. "Antibiotics for the strep and cough syrup to help me sleep at night. Seems to be doing well enough. Elsa's in her room if you want to come in." Maren nodded in reply, entering the apartment. "She had headphones in earlier, so she might not hear you if you knock."

"Thanks, Anna," she said sincerely. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Honestly? Get my sister to go to bed," she said with tired eyes. "She won't say anything, but I heard her coughing all night and I'm worried."

Maren's eyes softened. Of course Elsa wouldn't say anything while Anna was still sick. "I'll do my best."

"Elsa?" she said as she entered the bedroom quietly. Her heart ached at the sight. Books and tissues were scattered on Elsa's bed while Elsa herself was passed out in the middle with her laptop open on a half finished word document and Marshmallow curled up at her side. Her face was much paler than usual- something Maren had thought was impossible- and she shivered violently on the bed clinging to the fluffy cat for warmth. Maren placed a gentle hand to get girlfriend's head; she was burning up. Their discussion could certainly wait, she thought.

Marshmallow meowed up at her. Maren didn't know cats could looked worried, but he certainly did. She gave him a comforting pet. "Don't worry, Marshie. We'll take care of her." He meowed in reply before rubbing up on his owner again, pleased with her words.

"Hey snowflake. Can you wake up for me?" she asked softly. Elsa couldn't be comfortable like that, and if she was hiding her illness like Maren suspected she was, then she was going to get her the rest and medicine she needed.

Elsa's eyes slowly opened to reveal glassy blue eyes. "Maren? What are you doing here? You were mad at me. I'm- I'm sorry," she managed before coughs overtook her chest, scaring Marshmallow off the bed. She sounded terrible.

Maren shook her head, patting Elsa's back to help with the cough. "That's not important right now. How long have you been feeling sick?"

"'m not sick," she said, sniffling as her runny nose betrayed her.

"While you make a very compelling argument, snowflake, do you think you could you tell me the truth?" Maren asked wrapping an arm around Elsa. 

Elsa tried to recoil from the touch. "Don't want you to get sick," she said hazily.

"So you admit you're sick," she said with a small smirk. "Love, I teach middle schoolers. My fear of catching a cold is long gone. Now how long have you been feeling bad?"

"Monday."

Monday. Monday was when they fought. A wave of guilt passed over her. "And have you been going to school and work every day like a bad sick person?" Elsa nodded wearily. "Oh, love," she sighed. 

Maren moved from the bed, beginning to pick her up her papers and books. "What are you doing?" Elsa asked, clutching at some of her books. "I still have work to do."

"That may be true. But if you have the same thing Anna does, you need to rest more than you need to work. Did you even tell your sister you weren't feeling well?"

Elsa shook her head. "I didn't want to worry her. She has enough to worry about."

"I think you failed that mission, snowflake. She told me she heard you coughing all night last night. Meaning you probably didn't sleep and that you definitely shouldn't have been teaching today." Maren turned to Elsa's drawers. "What pajamas do you want? You aren't resting in those clothes."

Elsa slowly relinquished control, allowing Maren to help her change, something the brunette was very happy about. How Elsa had still been pushing on stunned her. She was running a temperature of 103 and yet here she was still working away on research. But Maren had told her enough was enough, and Elsa was settled in bed with two quilts and a dose of nighttime cold medicine.

"I'm sorry," she said sleepily looking at Maren.

"What for, snowflake?"

"For not calling, not talking to you, not telling you. I know you just wanted to help," Elsa said teary eyed. The combined illnesses must have been making her more emotional than usual, Maren thought. 

"I'm sorry too. For yelling and running away on you. But we can talk about those things when you're feeling better, okay?"

"But I was so mean to you," she said before being interrupted by a sneeze.

"Bless you. You were getting sick and under a lot of stress, sweetheart. I can't hold that against you. Especially when you're still so unwell."

"But I don't- but I don't want to sweep it under the rug like it never happened." Her voice cracked, clearly strained by all the talking. 

"We won't. There's a difference between sweeping an argument under the rug and waiting until you're well enough to talk without your body interrupting." Maren brushed a hand against her girlfriend's hot forehead. "We will talk about all this another day."

"Promise?" she asked.

"I promise. Now shush, don't strain your voice anymore." Elsa happily snuggled up against Maren, eyes shut. Soon enough, her wheezy breathing evened; and Elsa was fast asleep.

Maren was still just as confused as she was three days ago, but that didn't matter. Elsa was here with her, willing to talk. They would take it one step at a time, one breath at a time. They would figure this out. They would be fine.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryder is having some tough feelings about his relationship with Kristoff. Things he hasn't even figured out for himself yet.

Ryder focused intently on the wood in front of him. Even after work hours, he couldn’t help but come out to the shed he and his dad had built so many years ago and work on things. There was something soothing about carving that managed to silence his brain in ways nothing else could.

It had started as a way to help him focus when he was a kid. He was always rambunctious as a child, far more than most of the other kids. Dad tried to run out his energy with sports, but there was no one sport that he could commit to for too long. Football was too rough. Basketball was too complicated. Soccer was the best contender, but even that only held him for one season.

One spring day, Dad brought him back out to the yard after a particularly rough day at school. He got detention again. He left his homework in the wrong folder again, and he couldn’t focus on what his teacher was saying, and everything was simultaneously too slow and too fast. He was expecting Dad to yell at him, same as the teacher did.

But instead of yelling, Dad handed him a pair of gloves and a hammer. Dad wanted to him to build something. He’d never done anything like that before, and he knew he couldn’t do it nearly as well as Dad did. But Dad didn’t care. They weren’t going inside until he built something. It felt impossible.

Dad worked with him in the yard for hours. He helped him draw out a small table- one just big enough for him and his sister to sit at all to themselves. He took him to the hardware store, helping Ryder pick out wood and materials. He helped Ryder painstakingling hit each and every nail, put each board in place. By the end of the day, Ryder was exhausted, but proud. A small wooden table sat in the bedroom he shared with Maren.

As Dad tucked him into bed that night, he would never forget his words. “Whenever it gets too much or too hard to focus, remember your table. You did that yourself with your hard work and focus. And sometimes I know it takes you a little longer, but I know you always get there. You don’t ever give up, even when it seems hopeless, understand?”

The small table sat in the shed, near his current work bench. The memory made him smile. Things were so much simpler then.

Ryder sighed, moving from one project to another. His stomach tightened, thoughts distracted. He was doing this all wrong. Why couldn’t he just feel the way Kristoff obviously did? Kristoff had been hurt enough already, and he couldn’t bear the thought of adding to it. But that article... It made everything he had ever felt make sense.

The slamming of a bottle on his table pulled him out of his thoughts.

“A bottle of whiskey as requested.”

Ryder smiled at his sister. It didn’t surprise him that she actually bought them a bottle after their conversation then night before. That’s just how Maren was.

“Relentless as always,” he teased, getting off his bench to grab some cups.

“It’s why you love me,” she said, settling on the other side of the table.

Ryder stood, pouring a generous amount into the homemade shot glasses. It certainly wasn’t the first time they had done this. “How’s Elsa?”

Maren sighed. “Still sick as a dog. She texted me this afternoon after she went to the doctor. She managed to outdo Anna- she had been ignoring it all long enough to develop bronchitis on top of the flu and strep.” She took the shot glass. “Thanks.”

Ryder sipped on his drink. “What are you doing messing around with me rather than making sure she’s actually resting?"

Maren shrugged. “She has her own sister to look after her for a bit. And if they need anything, Kristoff isn’t too far away.” He could feel his face fall at the mention of his boyfriend. He just hoped she hadn’t noticed. Her hand cupped his face. “And I think my big brother needs me more tonight.”

“Thank you.”

He sighed. His heart felt heavy, and it wasn’t from the alcohol. “I- I don’t think I love Kristoff.” There. Now it was out in the open. The thought that had nagged on his brain for weeks on end. Ryder looked up at his sister nervously.

Maren pursed her lips, looking back at her brother.”Okay. That’s not what I thought you were going to say,” she said with a look of concern. “What happened? Did you have a bad fight or something else? Do you have feelings for someone else?”

He nervously ran a hand in his hair. “The- the opposite problem actually. I don’t feel anything for anyone. Not in that way at least.”

Maren raised an eyebrow at her brother. “What do you mean?”

“It’s just when we kiss, I don’t feel anything. At first I thought it was just I wasn’t experienced and it had just been overhyped for me. But then it kept happening. You had always talked about what magic it felt like when you kissed Elsa or the guys at work talk about it when they get back from a good date, but I just- I just don’t feel it,” he rambled, feeling his heart rate speed up.

“And then I went looking online to see if this happened to anyone else and- and- and well one thing kept coming up.” Ryder kept his head down. He didn’t want the tears brimming in his eyes to let loose, even it was just him and Maren.

Maren reached out and put a gentle hand over his. “And what was that, Ry?” she asked quietly.

“Aromanticism.”

Tears flooded down his face as waves of emotion flowed through his body. He had never said it out loud before. He wasn’t sure how he felt. Maren squeezed his hand. “Does that feel right to you?” she asked with the gentlest of tones.

All Ryder could do was nod, tears falling too hard to speak. “Then that’s okay. I want you to know I love you more than anyone or anything and nothing is going to change that.” It was faintly reminiscent of the last time he had come out to her- only this time it wasn’t followed by Maren coming out herself.

Ryder wrapped his arms around his sister, clinging on to dear life. He was safe. He was okay. “What am I gonna tell, Kris?” he asked quietly.

“The truth,” she replied simply. “The longer you hold this in, the worse it’s going to be for both of you.”

Ryder sighed. He knew it was true, but there was still a problem in timing and linguistics. He finished his shot glass before speaking again. “I need more whiskey and Mario Kart if I’m gonna have to keep thinking about this.”

“Mario Kart: Don’t Drink and Drive?” Maren teased. “Oh absolutely. I’m gonna kick your ass, you lightweight!”

Ryder smiled. He was still nervous as all hell, but he had his sister by his side. He could do this.

\--

He couldn’t do this. He absolutely could not do this.

Ryder was going to put a hole in the floor if he kept pacing, but he couldn’t help it. He was about to tell his boyfriend something he knew would hurt him and how could he do that to someone as nice and kind as Kristoff? Kristoff deserved so much better than a man who couldn’t love him the way he loved Ryder.

Kristoff wasn’t even here yet, and he could feel the tears building in his eyes. Nokk nudged his head against Ryder’s hand, clearly sensing his owner’s unease.

“I’m okay, buddy. Sorry,” he said with his voice shaking. He gave the golden retriever a comforting pet. “I’m just really nervous is all.”

“ _Why, Ryder_?” he said in his Nokk voice, the same way Kristoff often spoke for Sven. The voice that made Kristoff smile so bright.

“Because I’m about to tell him something he doesn’t want to hear and I’m scared he’ll hate me forever.”

“What don’t I want to hear?”

Shit.

Ryder had been so distracted by his thoughts he didn’t hear the front door open. He sheepishly ran a hand through his hair, desperate for some attempt at composure. “Hi, Kris,” he eventually said.

Kristoff looked at him with sad concerned eyes. “I’m not going to hate you. Whatever it is, I couldn’t hate you, Ry,” he consoled. “I love you.”

There was that stupid word again. His breathing sped up and tears fell from his eyes. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t do this. Kristoff loved him, and he couldn’t and he couldn’t break his heart like everyone else had. Oh God, why-

“Ryder, it’s okay. It’s okay,” he said tenderly, wrapping his arms around the other man. “Whatever it is, we can take care of it. I promise. Please, just tell me.”

“I’m- I’m aromantic.”

It was out in the open. There was no going back now. Ryder braced himself, scared to look at the man before him.

“Oh.”

That was all he said. God why couldn’t have pretended and been happy for Kristoff? Why did he have to hurt him yet again?

“I- I need to go.”

“Kristoff, wait! Please!” But it was too late. Kristoff was already out the door.

Ryder fell to his knees and sobbed. Nokk laid beside his owner, trying to comfort but it was to no avail. There was no escaping this pain. He made his bed and now he had to lie in it.

This was all his fault.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One couple talks about feelings. Another avoids it like the plague.

"Can I have my laptop back please? I need to review this article for Dr. Porter."

"It's Saturday and you're feverish. What do you think my answer is going to be?" 

"I don't have a fever anymore."

"You wanna test that theory?".

"You can't test a theory, you can only prove or disprove hypth-"

Before Elsa could finish her argument, Maren stuck the thermometer in her mouth. She heaved a sigh in discontent when the device beeped, playfully rolling her eyes. "100.9. Your hypothesis is incorrect. Now come on, just lay back and cuddle." She wrapped an arm around her girlfriend's shoulders, pulling her blankets tighter. "Drop to 99.0 and we'll talk about your laptop."

Elsa groaned, resting her head into Maren's shoulder. She was recovering remarkably fast for having three infections raising havoc, but Maren wasn't about to let her relapse due to stress. "99.0? Mare, I have things to do."

Maren laughed giving her a kiss on her warm forehead. "Then you better get some more rest because you aren't leaving this couch until you're better." Elsa stuck her tongue out at her- part playful, part irritated. "Stick your tongue out all you want. I'm just as stubborn as you, and I can go all day, snowflake."

Elsa sighed, giving into the plea. She was too tired to keep up the fight it seemed. Maren smiled as Elsa shut her eyes, content in listening to the nature documentary they were watching. "We still haven't talked about the other day."

Maren sighed. She knew it needed to be done, but didn't want to push. "Because you're still sick."

"I'm well enough to talk," Elsa retorted, glassy eyes looking up at her. "Anna said it was okay. You should know."

Anna? What did Anna have to do with any of this?

"I'm listening. But if it gets too much you're taking a break."

Elsa gave her a weak laugh. "Ever the chivalrous one, even in our fights." She gave a heavy cough into her blanket before beginning her tale. "You remember how I told you it's just been me and Anna for the longest while? Well, there was someone else..."

Elsa spoke for nearly an hour, sparing no detail. The way Hans and Anna met. Her distaste of the man. Their fast yet long engagement. The cheating. The bruises. The gun. And finally their current problem. Her voice was getting sore and raspy, sounding almost as bad as she had when Maren came by on Thursday. But Elsa refused to stop until everything was out in the open.

"They're having the hearing in Denver soon. He's fighting the order under the guise of it being too harsh and unnecessary. He thinks it was unfair. But the reality is,it was fair. He just wants his unfair hearing. And when your parents are millionaires..."

"The law looks the other way," Maren said sadly. "That's awful. How is Anna doing?"

Elsa shook her head. "I don't think she's doing well. But she won't let me help right now. It's so frustrating," she said before being interrupted by a sneeze.

Maren handed her a tissue. "I bet. It's the worst when someone you love won't let you help them," she said looking at her girlfriend pointedly.

Elsa blushed, her cheeks turning red as her nose. "I'm sorry. I'm trying to work on it." 

Maren gave a small laugh, handing her another tissue as Elsa's nose scrunched up. She was cute, even in her misery. "I know you are. Bless you."

Elsa gave into her exhaustion, curling practically into Maren's lap. "I just wanna help but there's nothing we can do but wait."

Maren ran a hand through Elsa's messy bedhead. "Anna is tough, and so are you. You're gonna get through this. Even if that bastard gets off, he's never touching either of you ever again." It was a big promise to make, she knew. But it was one she intended to keep as long as she could.

Maren sighed, pressing a kiss to her head. "I understand why you didn't want to tell me before, but I want you to know I'm here. For both of you."

Elsa nodded. "I'm sorry I pushed you away. I was scared and didn't know what to do."

"I forgive you. And I'm sorry that I yelled at you and ran away. I let my temper get the better of me."

"Forgive you too," she responded, words slurred in exhaustion. 

Maren smiled at her girlfriend. They were okay. It was time to rest. "I think it's naptime, love." Elsa only responded by bringing the blankets closer to them, her breathing evening out. Maren let a sense of pure bliss overcome her. This was good.

Until it was ruined by the buzzing of her phone causing Elsa to stir.

It was Ryder.

"Hello?" she answered in a whisper.

"Mare? He- he left. I don't know what to do." 

She was going to murder Kristoff.

\---

"Okay, okay, okay. Rewind here, mister." Anna was seated on the couch listening as Kristoff explained what happened at the Nattura's house. When she had come home from the store, she found Kristoff pacing back and forth in front of her doorway. "You walk into Ryder's house and hear him talking to his dog, worrying about how he thought you would hate him? You ask him what it is and he tells you he's aromantic? And you leave?"

"That's it in a nutshell." Kristoff ran a hand through his hair, stressed and upset.

"Kristoff, you're an absolute idiot.'

Anna rolled her eyes at her sister. "Thank you for the amazing insight, Elsa. You're being incredibly helpful."

"It's the truth," she murmured, eyes drifting shut. 

Kristoff sighed, continuing to pace. "She isn't wrong. I completely overreacted and ruined everything. But my boyfriend told me he was aromantic which means he doesn't love me and how could he not tell me sooner and- and-"

"And nothing. He just wanted to talk to you," Anna cut him off. "You don't even know what he was going to say. Aromantic does not mean he doesn't love you, dummy."

"Well he probably doesn't now considering my outburst," he said dejectedly.

"You need to talk to him. That's all he wanted to do. So give him that decency." 

Kristoff sighed. She was right. But how did he even go about it? "I doubt if he wants to talk to me now."

"Then let him cool down. Collect your thoughts and talk to him tomorrow. You messed up and now you fix it."

"But what if I can't fix it?"

"Then you did what you could do."

Kristoff sat down on the ground in front of them, staring blankly at the television. How could he have been so stupid? At least there was Anna. Anna who could set his head straight and keep him on track. Anna who was dealing with her own issues but still took the time to help him solve his problems. He didn't deserve her or her friendship.

"Thank you."

Anna waved a hand. "Don't mention it. Help me carry Elsa to bed and we'll call it even."

He smiled. "I can do that."

\---

Ryder practically locked himself in the shed for days. Occasionally Maren would drop by with some food or company, but he wasn't much for talking. She would tell him about the kids in her class or about how Elsa had finally kicked her sickness or the drama circulating the teachers' lounge. It wasn't much, but he was thankful for her. 

Her coffee was even from Duckin Donutti's.

He would be lying if he said he wasn't avoiding Mermaids Siren. How could he bear to see the man who made him feel so terrible? He regretted even worrying about Kristoff's feelings considering the way he ran out of the house. It wasn't Kristoff's heart that was broken. It was Ryder's.

A week into his isolationist escapade, faith pushed his hand. He had finished a few of his orders ahead of schedule, and his boss had noticed. And now he was stuck with picking up the coffee orders from Mermaid's Siren. Ryder was not a spiritual man by a long shot, but he prayed to whatever deity was up there that Kristoff wasn't on duty when he arrived.

His disbelief in a deity was further strengthened to say the least. Kristoff was not only working, but working on the register. Damn it.

"Hi."

"Hello."

He needed to play this cool. He had to or else he would start blubbering in the middle of the cafe.

"Haven't seen you in a while."

"Yeah. It's been busy at the shop."

"Lots of orders for Valentine's Day?"

Valentine's Day. In the wake of all this he had forgotten. A day dedicated to the love he couldn't provide Kristoff. A reminder of how broken he felt, no matter what Maren told him.

He nodded and looked down at the list in his hand. "Can I get three grande lattes and one grande of whatever's on tap?"

He watched as the man entered the order in the computer quickly. "Anything else?"

He shook his head, proceeding to pay. "Thanks."

"Have a good rest of your day."

"Thanks."

And that was that, he thought. He had survived. No tears. No yelling. Just a barista and their customer like everyone else.

"Caramel Frappuucino with extra drizzle for Ryder!"

He looked around. There was no one else in the cafe at this time of day. "I didn't order this."

The barista shrugged. "If you don't want it I can toss it. Or you can keep it. Your choice."

Ryder reached out and noticed the note written on the side. 

_I'm sorry. I messed up. I miss you._

"Toss it."


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boys will be boys and girls will be girls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I just wanted to let you know that there were a few changes made to earlier chapters in the story. Nothing too big, but enough to carry out the story more accurately. With the help of my amazing partner in crime and resident law student, writetheniteaway, I've built up a situation with the law that more accurately reflects how domestic violence legality works in real life. The main change is that Hans is only under a temporary restraining order compared to being in jail, and a hearing is being held to make that a permanent restraining order. Please check out her fics the next opportunity you get! You won't be disappointed!

“You’re being stubborn.”

“It runs in our family.”

“Yeah, but Elsa and I made up. You’re still dragging your feet.”

Ryder shrunk down in his seat. His sister was right, but he couldn’t bring himself to admit it. He was still mad, how could he not be? He told his boyfriend something so close to his heart, and Kristoff just ran. He wasn’t ready to accept the man’s pleas of apology.

“He’s trying, Ry. I’m not happy he ran either, but I think it’s worth acknowledging. You two need to talk.”

Ryder stayed silent, and he heard Maren sigh as she drove onward. He didn’t exactly remember where they were going, but he had a vague feeling that there was no destination. She was pulling the same thing he had pulled on her when she had fought with Elsa.

“It’s been two weeks. How long do you plan on stringing him along like this?”

Ryder pouted. Why was his sister so persistent about this. “What does it matter?” he huffed.

“It matters because you’re both clearly miserable,” she pointed out, turning into an open field. Maren put the truck in park, moving to get out. “Come on. You need a little batting practice.”

“Batting practice? What-”

Before he could finish his question, she was out of the car, reaching into the truck bed. Maren walked to his door, carrying an old baseball bat and a ball of softballs. “You are hitting out some frustration and getting your shit together.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You haven’t been to the gym since all this happened. And I know it helps clear your head. So get your ass out there, I’ll pitch. You hit.” She shoved the bat into his hand. “I’m gonna grab my mitt while you warm up.”

Ryder sighed and gave into his sister’s wishes. “This isn’t going to work!” he shouted, running back far enough for her to give a good pitch. “Wouldn’t a boxing ring worked a lot better?”

“Shut up. We both know you hate boxing.” He laughed at his sister’s frustrations. It was nice to laugh again, he noticed. Maren wound up a pitch, throwing it hard and fast at her brother. She couldn’t help but smile herself at her brother as he missed. “You’re gonna have to do better than that, baby brother.”

“Baby brother, my ass!” He swung at the next ball, making contact that time: a pop up Maren easily caught. “How’s that, little sister?”

“Nice! Now, focus that energy!” she called, throwing the ball again. Another miss. “What are you feeling?”

“Anger!” he said swinging the bat at the open air. “Why can’t he love me as I am?”

“Who said he didn’t?” Maren tossed the ball, another strike.

“Well running away when I told him seems like a pretty good sign to me!” he shouted, hitting the ball full of anger. Good, Maren would have to run for that one.

“What would you do if it were reversed? Kristoff was aromantic and you were madly romantically in love with him? Would you be able to face it right away?”

Ryder hit another ball. “I would love him no matter what. Because that’s what people do!”

“Maybe in romance novels! But this is real life, Ry,” she said pointedly before running to collect the balls around her. “Real people take time.” Ryder grunted, gathering the balls he had missed. She was right. Again. “And you’ve both had time. What’s stopping you from talking?”

Ryder sighed, dropping the bat and softballs. He knew the reason deep down inside, but he wasn’t ready to say it. He hadn’t even noticed he had curled himself inward until Maren reached around to give him a hug. “It’s okay to be afraid. But you can’t keep doing this to yourself or him. It isn’t fair to either of you.”

He dropped to the ground, his legs unable to bear the weight anymore. “I’m sorry.”

Maren came down to his level, keeping him close. “You don’t have to be sorry. Not to me. You’re my brother. I’m here no matter what.” She ran an easy hand through his hair,soothing him like she used to when they were kids. “But you need to talk to him, for both of your sakes.”

Ryder nodded, breathing deeply. It was time to face this.

“Thank you.”

\---

Kristoff had responded to his request to meet a bit too quickly. It made Ryder’s heart hurt; but he knew he was doing the right thing, even if it didn’t feel like it. They were meeting for lunch. Nothing fancy, a franchise sandwich shop, but it made a nice place for a hard conversation.

Ryder’s leg bounced nervously as he waited. Kristoff was always early, but Ryder was even earlier. He wanted to be their first, be there to greet him. Kristoff deserved that much.

“Hey there.”

A gruff voice pulled him from his thoughts. Kristoff was there in front of him. There was something inherently different, though his clothes and face looked the same.He looked tired, the way he did after working a dreaded clopen shift. Ryder sighed, feeling the guilt of putting them both through the ringer

“Hi,” was all he could manage. Before he knew it, the two of them were engulfed in a hug. Ryder inhaled the scent of coffee and immediately felt at ease. They were going to do this. And they were going to do this together.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured holding tight to Kristoff. “I shouldn’t have pushed you away when you were trying to apologize.” Stray tears fell from his eyes, guilt panging in his heart.

“I’m sorry for running away in the first place,” he said back. Kristoff lead them over to a booth, settling themselves down. “I got scared.”

Ryder nodded, taking his head off Kristoff’s chest. “I know. I- I was too.”

Kristoff grabbed on to Ryder’s hand. “Then how about we start this over?”

Ryder squeezed his hand tight. “I’d like that.” He breathed deeply before looking into his eyes. “I’ve known something was off for a while. At first I thought it was just having too high of expectations, that kisses weren’t as magical as everyone said they were.”

Kristoff sighed. “I know I’m not the best kisser, but-”

“Please, let me finish,” Ryder pleaded. Kristoff nodded understandingly. Cutting him off early was what got them in this mess in the first place. “I loved being around you. I loved being with you and holding your hand and bothering you at work. I still love doing all those things. But, there was always something in the back of my head.

“I wanted to love the kissing and cuddling as much as you did. It made you so happy, but I didn’t like it the way you did. It felt weird and wrong in a way, even though I knew it was a good thing. I knew you loved me. But I always thought there was something wrong with me. I did some research. And there were all these blogs about being aromantic. Something clicked for me, and that scared me a lot. Because I do love you, Krissy. But I don’t think it’s in the same way you love me. You’re my best friend, and I don’t want to lose you.”

Ryder sighed, giving a light squeeze to Kristoff’s hand. It was now or never. “But, I don’t think I want to date, not while I’m figuring this out. I want to take my time with this, and it’s not fair to ask you to settle for someone who can’t love you back the same way. Not when there’s someone we both know can do a lot better job than me.”

There was a long pause. A fleeting fear of Kris running again passed through his mind, but those fears were quelled as Kristoff gulped. “I want to respect- I do respect your wishes. But I want you to know I love you, and if our relationship has to change to one of those queerplatonic things then I’m willing to. Don’t give up on us just yet. Please.”

Ryder shook his head. “I don’t want to do that, Kris. Not now. Maybe in the future some day. But I really want to focus on being comfortable with myself for now.”

Guilt panged in his chest as he watched Kristoff bite his lip. “Okay.”

Ryder squeezed his hand. “I know it isn’t what you wanted to hear. But it’s something that I need to do.”

Kristoff nodded, squeezing back. “I understand. I know- I know you said you don’t want to be together. But is there any way we could stay friends?”

Ryder smiled, wiping a stray tear from Kristoff’s eye.

“I’d really like that.”

Kristoff kissed his hand gently. He held it close to his face for a second, getting one last comfort from his lover. Ryder felt peace wash over himself. They would be okay. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But one day they would.

\---

“How is Kristoff taking it?” Maren asked as she sipped on her hot tea.

She, Elsa, and Anna were spending the afternoon together, letting the boys have their space while they had a small Galentine’s Day together. It was Elsa’s idea, a way of keeping Anna distracted from the inevitable holiday and the email she would be getting tomorrow. Maren was happy to join in and spend the day drinking tea and watching Star Wars with them.

“He’s okay. Not great, but I think that’s to be expected in the situation,” Anna said, stroking Olaf as he laid in her lap. “He’s still going to work.”

“Well, that’s better than his last breakup,” Elsa commented, refilling her coffee cup.

“He didn’t go to work?” Maren asked, eyebrows raised.

Elsa shook her head, taking a small sip. “It was that girl he had been with for years. The one he bought a ring for.” It made Elsa sigh. She truly had broken him. He almost lost everything because of that woman’s malicious actions.

But this time was different. Ryder didn’t mean harm. The two could still be seen getting coffee together or playing basketball with their friends. Ryder didn’t leave him cold. And while Kristoff was hurt, he had a support network this time. Anna had been with him almost everyday since the breakup. Whether she was checking on him on his day off or working even more diligently in the cafe, she didn’t let him slip through the cracks. Anna hadn’t said much about what she was doing, but Elsa was glad she was doing it.

“Then he’s doing pretty good, I’d say,” Maren said. “Do you guys want to start this marathon? It’s getting near two. We could easily watch all three of the original trilogy by nine if we start now.”

Elsa smiled. “I still think we should start with the prequels, but as you wish, my love.” She stood and pressed a kiss into her girlfriend’s forehead.

Maren laughed. “Galentine’s Day is about loving yourself and friends, snowflake. Not putting yourself through hell.”

“They aren’t that bad,” Elsa pouted, looking towards her sister. “Right, Anna?”

But Anna didn’t respond. Her eyes were spaced out, her face pale as she looked at her phone. “Anna? Love? Are you okay?” Her breathing sped up as tears fell down her face. Elsa grabbed her hand, trying to ground her trembling sister.

“They set a date,” she breathed out. “For the hearing.”

Elsa’s eyes widened, and she reached to hold her sister tight. They weren’t supposed to tell her until tomorrow. They were supposed to be able to prepare. They were supposed to have their good day today and face tomorrow, well tomorrow.

But apparently that wasn’t what the world had in store for them today.

“When?” Elsa asked, softly.

“March 28th.”

Six weeks. They had six weeks to prepare. Six weeks to endure. Six weeks to survive.

Elsa held back her own tears and focused on her little sister. “It’s gonna be okay. I promise,” she said, her voice watery.

Maren put a soft hand on Anna’s back. “We aren’t gonna let anything happen to you. Not if me or Ryder or Kris or Elsa have anything to say about it.”

Anna gulped, holding tight to her sister and squeezing Maren’s hand. “Will you go with me? Both of you?”

Elsa ran a hand through her sister’s hair. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else,” she murmured, pressing a kiss to her temple.

Maren squeezed her hand back. “I think I can work something out for that.” She brushed a stray hair out of Anna’s face. “But in the meantime, why don’t we escape for a bit? Watch Luke Skywalker kick some butt, and feel a little bit better about the world?”

Anna nodded, untangling herself from Elsa and Maren.

“I’d like that. I’d like that a lot.”

She was so grateful not to be alone, not today. Her family was there, and they wouldn’t let her slip through the cracks. Worrying over plane tickets and hearings and vacation time could wait. She was going to spend time with her sister and friend, give into their comforts. And as the opening fanfare played, Anna could feel the semblance of peace.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Healing takes even longer than Anna thinks it should

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warnings for PTSD, flashbacks, and domestic violence. Please take care of yourself.

They were like a seesaw. In the weeks after she learned about the hearing, Anna couldn’t help but notice it. When she was down, Kristoff was right there to pick her back up. When he cried over his breakup, she was there to give a shoulder to lean on. There was a balance that she couldn’t quite understand.

She caught herself staring more often at him. Usually it was in quick moments, watching him craft the perfect latte as she waited at the window or seeing the way he got flustered when a customer handed him a large tip or the way he stuck his tongue out doing the math on his counts. It made her feel young again, like she was actually a young fun twenty-three year old compared to the shell of a life she was living before. Slowly but surely, bruises of her heart were healing.

Her favorite times were nights like tonight. By some miracle (or perhaps some intervention by their store manager), neither of them were working the evening shift tonight leaving them free to their own devices. Even Elsa was home early tonight. Though she was still working at their kitchen table, her presence was comforting.

“Oh come on! That’s cheating!” she shouted at the TV, losing a hard match in their racing game. Even in losing, she felt herself smile.

“Is not!” he laughed. He gave her a light shove.

She froze; a memory flashed before her eyes almost instantly. Hans shoving her playfully. Then too hard. Then against the wall. Then to their bed.

The feeling of his hands on her waist.

Pain.

Fear.

Bruises.

_No no no no no._

She needed to get out of this. She needed to break free. She wasn’t with Hans, but God oh God why did her body feel as if she was?

“Anna?”

She could hear Kristoff calling to her. But It felt almost as if he was underwater, so close and yet so far away. It was stupid. This was so stupid. She was fine. Why couldn’t she be fine?

He called her name again. She couldn’t get out. Why was she stuck here? Was she even breathing? Of course she had to be breathing or she would have passed out. Or maybe it was just delaying the inevitable. She would pass out and then this would all be over.

She could hear rustling. It was probably Elsa. She hoped it was Elsa. Elsa helped. A melody made its way to her ears. Soft and low. Not Elsa, but it was nice. Was this Kristoff’s voice? It had to be. A hand drew soft circles on her back. That was Elsa.

Slowly but surely, the fog cleared from her mind. Anna blinked her eyes rapidly. She was back in their living room. She was safe.

“There you are,” Elsa murmured softly. “How do you feel?”

“Tired.”

It was all she could respond. The episodes had gone away, but now they were back. She knew it was the stress of the hearing, but it didn’t make it any easier. Elsa was stroking her hair, soothing her. Kristoff was nearby, but far enough to give her space. It was clear he was afraid of hurting her.

She felt guilty. She didn’t want to be afraid of the touches anymore. She knew he was just being playful; she had seen his do this with his brothers and sisters and cousins. It’s just how they were, it wasn’t malicious. But her body refused to believe that. Her pulse raced, her muscles tense.

“Why don’t you go lie down for a bit? There’s still a while until the pizza comes. I’ll get you up then.” Elsa offered, slowly helping her off the floor. Anna nodded. Lying down sounded nice.

“There we are,” he sister mumbled, putting her down on the bed. “Get some rest. I’ll get you when the pizza’s here, okay?”

Anna nodded again, shutting her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for, Annie. It’s okay.” Elsa gave her a warm smile, turning to shut the door. “I love you.”

In the sanctuary of her bed, Anna let her tears flow freely. Why couldn’t all of this just stop? She was tired of crying, tired of feeling frustrated, tired of being afraid. And yet here she was again crying and frustrated and afraid.

Perhaps this was her destiny now.

\---

Kristoff stood in shock. He didn’t mean to hurt her. They were just playing a game, and he messed this up. Again. Of course Anna wouldn’t like a shove, even if it was playful. But he didn’t think it would do that to her. He didn’t think. How could he be so stu-

“It wasn’t your fault, you know?”

Elsa had returned to the living room, sitting near him on the floor. She was remarkably calm through all this- very different from the overly anxious student he had met all of those years ago. The realization her calmness was only a result of experience made his heart shatter nonetheless.

“Feels like it was,” he sighed. “I should have known better, but it was almost like a reflex. I didn’t even realize it until she froze up.”

Elsa nodded, curling up her knees up to her chest. “You were having fun, relaxing. So was Anna. That’s what she needs, to have fun, feel that joy again. She doesn’t need you to walk on eggshells, Kris.”

Kristoff released a deep breath, staring up at the ceiling. “Maybe, but I don’t like seeing her like that.”

“You think I do?” Elsa asked curiously.

“No- no I- I don’t, it’s just-”

“Kristoff,” she held onto his hand, comfort flowing from her familiar touch. “She needs time. The hearing is making things harder on her; it’s just a fact at this point.” Elsa gave a heavy sigh. “That’s the third time it’s happened this week. And even if you hadn’t been roughhousing, I have a feeling something else would have set it off.

“Do not blame yourself for the errors of another man.”

Kristoff sighed for he knew she was right, but that didn’t make him feel any better about the situation at hand. “What can I do to help?” he asked, softly. “I don’t want to scare her even more when it happens. She seemed scared enough already.”

Elsa smiled, rubbing her fingers over his knuckles. “Well the singing was good; I think she really liked that. It was something our mom used to do, so there’s something. Talking is good too, best when it’s unrelated to the scene at hand though. She craves the affection, Kris. It’s just about being careful with it when she feels like that. Let her guide your actions.”

He bit his lip. “I just don’t want to mess this up.”

“Mess what up?” she asked, head cocked.

“Being her friend, helping her through all this. I don’t want to mess up all the progress she’s made.”

:”Kristoff.” She turned so that she could look him in the eyes. “You have helped more than you can imagine. You got her a job. You got her a friend. You got her out of that house. I can never thank you enough for that. You are a part of her progress. So please, have a little more faith in yourself. You’ve done more than you know.”

It was hard to see himself as a positive influence. He was just there. Perhaps it was more than that, and maybe in Elsa’s eyes that made all the difference. “I just want to do right by her.”

“You are, I can assure you of that.”

There was a knock at the door. Elsa stood, in turn helping Kristoff up. “Will you get that? I’m gonna wake Anna up.”

He nodded silently. And as the night went on and Anna had settled again, Elsa’s words rang in his ears. He was doing his best, and that, for once, was enough.

\---

“Are you ready?”

Anna gulped. Six weeks passed far too quickly for her liking. Her head felt like it had a timer going at all hours, no matter how much she wanted to turn it off. But the time was drawing near.

Two days, sixteen hours, nineteen minutes.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

Elsa grabbed her hand, and Maren put a hand on her shoulder. She wasn’t alone. No matter how hard he had tried to make her feel that way, she knew with complete certainty that it was not the truth. Elsa and Maren were here with her, boarding the plane to her old home. Ryder and Kristoff were only a text message away, there for her no matter what the outcome would be.

She had a family. A family that fought but forgave. A family that supported one another. A family built on love and trust and tacky family game nights, not the things Hans tried to sell off as a family.

A real family.

They were there, and they weren’t going anywhere. With a deep breath, Anna boarded the plane. She could do this.

“Then, Colorado, here we come.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time has come to bring Hans Westerguard to justice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MAJOR CONTENT WARNINGS FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND GUN VIOLENCE. Seriously guys, protect yourselves and don't read if it will hurt you.

Anna felt as though she were going to crawl out of her skin. They had only been in the courtroom for fifteen minutes but she felt Hans’ glaring eyes on her the whole time. Even in her dress pants and long shirt, she felt exposed. She wanted to cry, but to cry would be to show weakness.

She closed her eyes tight for a second, wishing her sister had been allowed to sit with her instead of behind her in the gallery. Her attorney was giving their opening statement, including as many of the criminal related facts he could. It was hard to hear about that night, no matter how many times she had been forced to tell the tale or how many times the attorney said it out loud. Her therapist said it would get a little easier each time, and that in telling her story, she would gain a sense of agency.

Anna thought her therapist was full of shit.

Because no matter how many times she spoke of it, she still felt the pounding in her heart. She still felt the way he touched her. Felt the cold metal against her back and the fear that she wouldn’t see the next morning.

_“I saw the way you acted with him! You stupid fucking slut!”_

_“You will not ruin the Westerguard family name!”_

_“I know you’re hiding in here. Come out come out wherever you are!”_

_“I’m all you’ve got left, sweetheart. No one’s coming to save you tonight.”_

_“You are nothing.”_

His words rang in her head no matter how much she tried. At any other time she would distract herself, put in earbuds to block the hurtful words. But the hearing required her full attention- or at least as much of it as she could bear to give.

She really did try to listen. It was important, and she would be asked to speak at some point. She needed to pay attention, but her fear held her hostage.

And if listening to her side of the story again hurt, then listening to his side was absolute torture.

“Your honor, my client Officer Westerguard did not perform the acts proposed by the opposing side. The only evidence of gun violence is a single shot into a wall, a wall in their guest bedroom to be more specific. Additionally, there is no proof that the injuries caused in the photographs were in fact caused by Officer Westerguard.

“Has this young man not suffered enough? Spending almost a year in which he had to feel as if he were a criminal in his own town? There is no purpose in continuing the protection order, for not only is Officer Westerguard innocent, but Ms. Arendelle has not been seen anywhere near the Denver metropolitan area in months. For what purpose does a protection order have if there is no opportunity of interaction on a regular basis?”

Anna could feel her blood boiling. No evidence? She had specifically taken pictures of her face with date and time stamps, just like she had read online. But when looking at the pictures on the screen, those stamps were suspiciously missing. Not to mention the fact that multiple 911 calls were made- the 911 calls that had helped her earn the temporary protection order. But now those calls were considered “unimportant”?

The statement about Hans suffering threatened to push her over the edge. Hans had been the one to suffer? She was the one who had to start a whole new life. The one who cried herself to sleep for months because she couldn’t feel anything besides fear.

But sure, Hans was the one who was suffering, being seen as a criminal to people he had no care or interest in. His law enforcement friends certainly didn’t see him as a criminal, sitting behind him in the courtroom with a little too happy of grins.

“For these reasons, I argue that the protection order between Ms. Arendelle and Officer Westerguard need not be made permanent.”

"Thank you, Mr. Peterson. You may be seated. Ms. Arendelle, if you would come to the stand please?"

Elsa gave her a reassuring look from where she was seated behind, giving Anna one last boost of courage. She could do this. Her heart felt about ready to explode, but she could do this.

"Ms. Anna Arendelle, do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?"

"I do."

This was it. Anna squared her shoulders, looking dead ahead at the judge. In ten minutes this would be over. She just had to survive those next ten minutes, one breath at a time.

"Can you tell me what happened on the evening of April 20th this past year?"

It took everything in her not to get stuck in the fog of her brain. She tried to listen to the tiny voice in her mind, telling her that it was okay. It was okay to talk about it. There was someone listening to her, someone who could help her.

_Anna’s heart felt as though it were going to jump out of her chest when she heard the door open. Their earlier fight had been replaying in her head. It was stupid. Why was it such a big deal that she had gone out to the game night at the coffee shop? She wasn’t doing anything wrong._

_But it had made Hans mad, and it was all her fault. She knew better than to think going out would actually help him cool down. She knew that his anger would only escalated in proportion to the number of shots he had at the bar. By the sound of the door slam, she could tell it had been more than usual. If she was lucky, she could get him to bed before anything could happen._

_His mumblings grew louder and louder. Things about how the house wasn’t clean enough, why did he even keep her around if she wasn’t going to fucking clean?_

_She greeted him, knowing that ignoring him would only make things worse._

_He had that wavering look in his eyes, mirroring his unsteady feet. He was shouting about the house. Shouting about how she was whoring herself around, how horrible of a human she was, how no one loved her but him. She braced herself for his hand, straight faced. She had stopped wincing a long time ago._

_She made an excuse some time later, getting herself back in their bedroom. A fire lit inside herself. She couldn’t live like this anymore. She snapped a quick photograph of her injured face and sent it with a message to her sister. It was her only hope of outside help, a slim hope at that. She hadn’t been allowed to talk to her sister in so long._

_She heard him coming, deleting the text messages, pulling it up to a random contact._

_That was her mistake. He saw it, a friend from the shop, a male friend._

_He shouted again, saying how he was going to teach her a lesson. He was gone and then back again, stumbling with his gun. In an instant, the cold metal was pressed against her back Tears streamed from her eyes. This was it. This was how she was going to die._

“We fought for a while, until he shot the gun aimed at me. But our wall was the one to take the hit. I dislodged the gun and ran outside as fast as I could. And that’s when Officer Baker from Arapahoe showed up.”

The judge nodded at her. “Thank you, Ms. Arendelle. Please be seated.”

She had done it. The wave of relief passed through her. Someone who could do something heard her. Now Anna just hoped it had been enough.

She couldn’t bear listening to Hans’ side of the story. It wasn’t so much his side as it was twisting her words and fabricating a tale in which he was the victim. He said that she had been cheating on him, and that he only went to drink to forget his troubles. He spoke of how she was particularly clumsy and had fallen earlier in the week, that those bruises were not his fault.

He spoke of how because he was the man in this case, no judge would take him or his pain seriously. He had only shot to defend himself from her rage. He had been the victim in this. He didn’t care for a restraining order, finding that he could protect himself from her. She was the one who needed to be locked up and away.

It made Anna’s blood boil. This was all wrong, so so wrong. There was no way in hell that anyone would be able to believe that bullshit.

But she was wrong.

How could she be wrong?

Why was she wrong?

She couldn’t help the scream that echoed through the courtroom. Elsa ran to her, holding her tightly and rocking her back and forth. Her lawyers were speaking, saying they would make this right. But in reality, they all knew this decision was final. Hans was a free man, free to do what he chose to whom he chose.

And in that freedom he was bold enough to walk over to her.

Elsa blocked her vision, whispering sweet nothings in her ear. She was thankful, she couldn’t bear this on her own. But beyond the whispers, she heard Maren shout at him.

“Don’t you fucking touch her, I swear to God! Go talk to your stupid friends about how you rigged this trial in your favor! You are no victim here. Justice weeps at your presence.”

Hans could only laugh.

“Perhaps, but the law stands by me. While the law could send you back to wherever you came from in a heartbeat.”

“Fuck you, you racist bastard,” she growled, fire in her eyes. “This land has been mine and my people’s far before yours. Now get out of here. Now.”

“You don’t scare me, sweetheart. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever.” And as quickly as he had appeared, he was gone.

Anna sobbed. Everything she had worked so hard for was gone. How could she ever feel safe again?

\---

Elsa was miraculously stoic. Ever since the judge uttered his fateful words, she was a rock. Anna hadn’t stopped crying for more than a few minutes at a time, but Elsa was there to catch them. But regardless of how much she masked it, Maren could see right through it. Today had been hard on all of them, and Elsa was no exception.

Maren was just coming back in their hotel room from calling Ryder. The boys were just as outraged as they had been. But the judge’s word was final: he had believed Hans and to try him again would violate his constitutional rights. All there was now was damage control.

Elsa was sitting on the bed further from the door, softly stroking her sleeping sister’s hair. As Maren watched, she noticed the small tears falling from Elsa’s eyes. How many times had they had nightmares over this very outcome, only for it to come true?

Maren breathed deeply, loud enough as not to startle Elsa. Slowly, she stood behind her, wrapping warm arms around Elsa. “Hi,” she whispered with a light kiss to the neck.

“Hi,” she breathed. Even with just one word, Maren could hear the exhaustion in her voice. “How were the boys?”

Maren sighed to herself. “Angry. I had to convince Kristoff not to get on a plane right this minute. I think they’re going out to the batting cages, let some of it out before we come home tomorrow.” The sooner they were all out of this blasted city, the better, Maren figured.

Elsa nodded, leaning her head back into Maren’s chest. “Tomorrow can’t come soon enough.”

Maren hummed in agreement, holding tight. “How long has she been asleep?”

“Not long.”

“Then how about we do the same?” Maren suggested, leading Elsa towards their bed. “You’re exhausted.”

Elsa sighed rubbing at her eyes. “I wanna be there when she wakes up.”

“You will be. You’re only a few feet away, love. I promise it’s okay to take a break. Come here.” Maren left no room for argument, pulling her towards the soft sanctuary of the hotel bed. Surprisingly, Elsa didn’t resist, instead curling up into a ball. She was silent for a long time, long enough that Maren thought she had fallen asleep herself.

“How did it go so wrong, bumblebee?” Elsa asked quietly, her voice wet with tears. It crushed Maren’s heart. “He should be rotting in a cell a million miles away, not walking the streets, working his patrol like nothing’s wrong.”

Maren shook her head, willing away her own tears. “I don’t know, snowflake.” She pulled Elsa closer to her. “I don’t know why or how. But it isn’t right.” Her eyes betrayed her, wet tears dripping down her face. “And we aren’t allowed to do a damn thing about it.”

“And the way he talked to you! Even off duty, what kind of officer talks to his citizens like that?” Elsa’s face scrunched in distress. “He’s a racist, bigoted asshole and how can he just run free saying things like that?”

Maren looked down sadly, playing absentmindedly with the sheets. “More do it than you think, love. He’s no isolated case.”

Elsa clenched her eyes tight. “It’s not right. None of this is right. Why? Why did it have to end like this?” she cried. Maren could only hold her for there were no words.

They laid there for a long time, tears falling freely. There was no reason to be brave now. Sleep pulled at their eyes as the setting sun outside mirrored the pain in their hearts. Their darkest night was here, and all they could do was wait for the sun to rise again.

What else could they do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major thanks to writetheniteaway for her help with the legal aspects of this fic. She is one of my best friends and favorite writers, so take a second to look over her fic!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anna is not okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short update today! I'm trying to balance getting a regular upload schedule while managing full time school and work. Hopefully we will be moving to a consistent Friday upload. I love this piece, and I'm not about to let it die due to the depths of academia. 
> 
> Love you all,
> 
> Al

Anna spent her day staring at the wall. There were thirty three marks on the makeshift bulletin board. She remembered Elsa said it was her office before, remembered helping move her desktop and other various supplies to her bedroom. It made her feel guilty. Her sister had given up so much for her, and she repaid her by not moving from her bed when it didn’t go right.

She hasn’t left since their flight came in yesterday. They were all tired between the red-eye flight and the slight jet-lag; but while Elsa and Maren were up and about today, Anna couldn’t pull herself from the bed. Elsa kept checking on her throughout, bringing her food and water, occasionally touching her forehead making sure she wasn’t physically sick. She didn’t deserve her sister’s kindness.

A fever would be a cakewalk compared to this. A fever had a beginning and an end. But this, this anxiety, depression, or whatever word matched the feeling in her chest felt as if there were no end. She didn’t remember the beginning either if she was honest. Was is when the judge said his piece? Was it when she felt the gun in her back? Was it when his palm hit her the first time? Even in his absence, he was blurring her mind and twisting her heart.. 

There were thirty three marks on Elsa’s wall. Thirty three holes that wouldn't be empty if she hadn't come home, if he wasn’t so cruel.

She wondered what it would be like if she hadn’t left. Would she feel as bad as she did now? Would they have finally gotten married, or would Hans had moved the date back again? Would she be pregnant with a baby she didn’t want? Would she even be alive?

Her sister would probably be better off. She wouldn’t have to be fretting over her now. The pile of work on her desk would have been smaller. She would be spending her day with Maren walking in the sunshine instead of playing catch up with school things, sitting on the floor by Anna’s bed. 

Her therapist had taught her before when to recognize when her depression was talking. But recognizing it didn’t mean it wasn’t true. 

Depression lies, a tiny voice whispered in her mind.

But not now, a louder voice sang, lulling her back into its grasp. Her eyes drifted shut. It wasn’t worth it to fight it right now. The thoughts could sing their song for she was a captive audience.

She dreamt of those thirty three stupid marks, thinking how they might not be there if she wasn’t. 

\---

The green apron was staring at her, reminding her of what she needed to be doing and how very much she didn’t want to do it. It was only four hours- a princess shift they called it. Surely she could suck herself up enough for four hours.

It would be good to see her regulars. She hadn’t been in the shop since they left last week, and they tended to notice when their baristas were gone, even more than just a few days at a time. Maybe Decaf Mocha Mike’s wife finally had their baby. Maybe Doppio with two pumps of vanilla Jack would bring his dog through the drive through. Maybe Ms. Fredrickson would remember the secret menu truly didn’t exist and ordered a normal drink

She sighed. But for every good customer, there was at least one who tried to kill her soul. The pretentious pricks who wanted their drink at a very specific temperature and would have it remade if she was a degree off. Swarms of high schoolers who ordered sugary concoctions made from hell that even Ryder wouldn’t touch. 

What if Hans showed up? There was nothing to stop him, not anymore. He could find her any day and drag her back to hell. The thought caused her to freeze. She could see his stupid sideburns asking for his pretentious coffee, pulling some dumb pick up line as if she hadn't been terrified for the last three years. Her heart sped up and her breathing quickened. No, no.

She couldn't go.

Her blankets were safe and warm. She held onto her old stuffed bear for dear life, grateful for the little comfort she felt. It was all she had.

Her fears weren’t worth the money. 

\---

Anna faded in and out of consciousness all afternoon. She vaguely heard Elsa come in around seven. She braced herself for whatever coddling was to come. Her sister was only looking out for her, but she wasn't ready for a lecture about missing work and how it would be good for her to get out of the house.

"Anna?"

The voice wasn't Elsa's. Instead it was Kristoff's. That was a surprise. He knocked on her door, waiting for her response. She wanted to tell him to go away, screw off, and leave her alone. But the words wouldn’t come, just as they hadn’t in days. Before she could try again, the door was slowly opening.

“Hey, Red.” His voice was soft, far softer than she deserved. He should be mad at her. It was his mid-shift she had wrecked by her stupid fears. “You look cozy there. Mind if I join you?”

She shrugged her shoulders, before moving her covers over. He took the spot she offered, careful not to touch her. He was chivalrous and understanding, and Anna didn’t know why. Didn’t he know she wasn’t worth anything? Not in the eyes of the law at least.

“You missed a good shift today. Ryder came through the drive through with Sven and Nokk. They were so excited to get their pup cups,” he smiled. “Pretty sure they would have eaten the cup itself if Ryder didn’t have a death grip on it.”

Anna gave him a small smile, her first in days. Kristoff talked for a while about nothing in particular: dogs he had seen today, the insanity of their regulars, the irritation their least favorite co-worker caused him. It was nice. Kristoff didn’t expect anything, and Anna could just be. 

The thoughts still bombarded her. His villainous grin was seared into her memory. She still didn't want to speak. But laying there head to Kristoff's chest, there was a moment of security. She was safe. In her heart, she knew the feeling wouldn’t last forever. Every good moment had its end.

But so did every bad moment. 

There was a long road ahead, but that little voice in her head, the voice pushing down her fears and sadness and worries, spoke again. She could do this. Breath by breath, step by step. And when that next bad moment came, she would deal. 

That was all that she could do. That was what she was going to do.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooooooo boy, there was a reason I didn't write fanfic during the school year in undergrad. I've missed you guys and I'm sorry to be so long in between updates! Still shooting for Sunday updates, but it all really comes down to my workload and my own insomnia. Thanks for sticking with me! I'm not ready to let this project go by a long shot, everything is just in transition- both in my life and in the fic itself. This chapter most likely could be joined with chapter 13 for cohesion, but I wasn't about to throw everyone off with ANOTHER chapter 13 haha.
> 
> Thank you guys and please enjoy!

Elsa’s head throbbed as she stared at her laptop. She knew there was work to be done, but the sight of her to-do list made her heart ache and stomach drop. Her mind was contorted with images and thoughts she didn’t want and certainly didn't need in this moment.

She took a deep breath, attempting to get some grasp on the anxiety that plagued her. Her worries came one after another after another. Anna was doing better than when they first arrived home, but Elsa couldn't help but be afraid she would regress any second. She knew that her sister didn't need her walking on eggshells; she knew that, but she couldn't help worrying anyway. 

"She looks a lot more confident today."

Maren's words pulled her from her thoughts. They were working at the cafe, just like old times. Originally it was to help make Anna more comfortable going to work after the hearing; but if Elsa was honest with herself, it alleviated her own anxieties as well. Anna was safe, and no one was going to touch her on their watch. Even if it meant Elsa wasn't getting much of her own work done.

Elsa hummed in agreement. Talking was difficult today. It wasn't as bad as in her childhood when she would go silent for days or weeks at a time; but there was an old comfort in the silence. Words only cluttered her brain.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence was what let him destroy her. Silence kept her as his prisoner. Silence stopped anyone from helping.

"Elsa?"

Maren's voice brought her back again, releasing her from her thoughts. Elsa looked onward, desperately trying not to feel the anxiety coursing through her body. Her eyes squinted shut as if that were the key to shutting out her thoughts. Maren's hand was warm in here. A gentle squeeze helped center her, actually bringing herself back.

"I'm okay," she said hesitantly.

Maren gave her that look, the disbelieving look that Elsa was very familiar with. "You're not. You're shaking."

"Sorry." There wasn't anything else she could say. She hated worrying Maren like this, not when there were so many other things that she could be focusing on. "I'm okay, promise. We need to get our grading done."

"There's time for that later, snowflake. I'm more worried about you." Maren's expression softened, giving her another soft squeeze. "How many cups of coffee have you had today?"

Elsa groaned. Her caffeine habits had been a frequent argument lately. She knew it made her anxieties worse; she knew she should cut back. But it made her feel like there was some kind of control, some kind of power to get her work done. Even if it wasn't the healthiest manner.

She shook what was left of her americano- her standard with two extra shots. "Only number two," she admitted softly.

Maren sighed, looking at her. "That's still ten shots of espresso, Elsa. That's not healthy  
You know that." Elsa could practically see her girlfriend running the numbers in her head. "800 milligrams of caffeine is double what a healthy adult should have." 

"Only 750," Elsa replied, giving a small shrug. "I ordered regular, not blonde."

"You aren't helping your case. When is the last time you slept properly?"

Elsa sighed. She knew it did her no good to lie, even if it left her pride in tact. "I'm still going to bed every night, I promise." It was the truth. She simply went to bed at midnight and was up by five the next morning. Sure, she was exhausted, but at least she had the semblance of getting something done in her long hours.

Maren gave her what Elsa affectionately referred to as her teacher look, soft yet firm. "You need to relax. I know the stress you're under but you don't have to bear it alone." Maren reached forward, taking the last of her coffee. "And we should probably switch you to decaf."

"Maren," she began to protest when her girlfriend threw away her coffee, but her resolve didn't last long. She wasn't sure if it was the caffeine, her exhaustion, or love, but Elsa's heart ached. And when Maren wrapped her arms around her, she was a goner. Tears of exhaustion and worry let themselves out without her consent.

And for once, Elsa didn't mind. Anna was busy with a customer, so she wouldn't see or worry. With Maren's arms wrapped around her, Elsa let her vulnerability bleed through. It was okay to let it go.

"Let's go home."

\---

"You are insane."

"Oh come on! When's the last time you've climbed a tree?"

Kristoff shook his head with a smile. "When my knees didn't crack every time I bent down."

"That's far too long! Come on, old man! It'll be perfect."

"Old man?!" Before Kristoff could protest again, Ryder was off scrambling up the large oak. "You're an idiot!" he called up with a laugh, before following him up the tree.

"Yeah, but I'm your idiot," Ryder shouted down. 

Climbing was harder than Kristoff remembered. Since he took the job at Mermaid's Siren all those years ago, he hadn't spent as much time out in the woods as he wanted. Walks with Sven were generally in city blocks these days compared to the winding fields he grew up on. This park, however, felt like home. 

Ryder looked down at him, smile warm and eyes bright. 

It felt like home in more ways than one.

Kristoff knew deep down that he and Ryder would not get back together. He knew that he needed to move on and continue to let Ryder grow in his own right. That their friendship, while deep, would never go back to those as lovers. He was getting there slowly, but some part of him still ached for the feeling of before.

"Come on, slowpoke!"

Kristoff laughed. "I'm coming! Not all of us are graced with your athletic gifts!"

Ryder laughed in return, settling on a study branch overlooking the large park. Soon enough Kristoff was beside him, taking in the warm sun. The view was enough to make him gasp. "Beautiful right?"

Kristoff nodded, relishing in the overwhelming feeling of peace. An orange glow cast over park, the sun preparing itself to set. It reminded him of being a kid, desperate to find where the sun went at night, chasing it until his mom called him and his brother in for the night. "Do you come here a lot?"

"Not as much as I used to. But when Dad took me and Mare to the park I always made a point to climb as high as I could. Helped me think sometimes," he shrugged. "And I figured we could both use a little help clearing our heads."

Kristoff scoffed. Of course Ryder could tell something was up. Then again, everything had been up since the trial. His mom called it a turning point in all of their lives, and that couldn't be more true.

"Maybe a little."

"Maybe a lot, blondie," he teased. 

The nickname made him smile. It wasn't too much, certainly not something he called him while they were dating, but it let Ryder be affectionate. And Kristoff would be lying if he said he didn't like it.

Kristoff sighed, swinging his legs back and forth. "Is this all that we're meant to be doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "I've just felt stuck lately I guess. With everything that's happened, I feel like I'm not where I'm supposed to be. I don't want to be some stupid barista for the rest of my life you know? But I don't know what to be instead. I don't want to go back to school and I don't want to stay at Mermaid's and I don't know what a good option is anymore."

Working in retail wasn't thrilling for everyone if anyone, he knew that. The customers seemed to be getting worse and worse by the day, though. It was near impossible to put up with their new upper management, especially after all the crap they had given Anna over the hearing. But the benefits were good, and he was able to afford a crummy little apartment for himself. He couldn't throw it all away like it was nothing.

Kristoff picked at the bark. "I know it's stupid."

Suddenly Ryder's hand was on his. "It's not stupid. I understand. Not feeling where you're meant to be." 

Kristoff raised his eyebrow. "You do?"

Ryder nodded, absentmindedly looking into the distance. "Especially with all this," he awkwardly motioned around his body, "I feel like there's somewhere... Something better for me."

Kristoff gave a nod, sighing. "I wish there was some easy fix for it all. Something to go by."

Ryder gave his hand a quick squeeze. "There may not be a guide to go by, but that doesn't mean you have to go it alone."

Kristoff gave a small huff of a laugh. "Yeah?"

He leaned in a bit, pressing forward. "Yeah. We'll both find out places." 

Kristoff smiled leaning in himself. Was Ryder going to kiss him? Weren't they-

His balance fell out from under him, and with the help of quick reflexes, he was hanging upside down in the tree.

"Are you okay?!"

Ryder was hanging off the side of the tree reaching to give him a hand. Kristoff breathed in relief, panting from fear and embarrassment. Maybe he wasn't so good at reading the signs after all.

"...I'm good."

\---

Anna rubbed at her eyes. It made sense to her that her nightmares had gotten worse, but it didn't make them any easier to manage. Nor was it any easier to go back to sleep after them. Hearing the sound of a clacking keyboard, she decided to get up and investigate.

Elsa was typing away feverishly on some report or other, her reading glasses practically falling off her face. A quick glance at the clock, told her it was time to intervene. They both needed sleep.

"Elsa?" she said quietly, trying not to spook her sister. Despite the efforts, her sister jumped. "Sorry, it's just me," she said softly.

Elsa's gaze softened as she turned to her. "It's okay. What are you doing up, sunshine?" she asked scooting over to give Anna some space on the couch.

Anna easily settled in, laying her head against Elsa's shoulder. "I should ask you the same thing," she said, pointing to the stacks of papers around them.

"I asked first," she said, taking her glasses off and resting against the couch.

"Same as always," Anna murmured, playing with the strings on her pajama pants. "Bad dreams about you-know-who."

"You want to talk about it? You know I'll listen."

Anna shook her head. Her sister had been a saint these last few weeks, but Anna didn't think it did her any good to ruminate on a dream she had already had three times this week. "Same one as last night. What's keeping you up?"

"Nothing really," Elsa shrugged. "A little bit of this and a little bit of that. Nothing important."

"Elsa..." She didn't believe her sister for a second. The day's makeup had worn off revealing dark baggy eyes. Not to mention it wasn't the first time she had heard Elsa typing late into the night. "Please don't hide this from me. We said no more secrets."

"First Maren, now you." Elsa sighed, giving Anna some relief. She wasn't going to hide this time. "I'm really behind on work is the issue. And my insomnia and anxiety seem to be conspiring against me," she mumbled.

Anna gave her own sad sigh. She couldn't help but feel like it was her fault. If all this hadn't happened, then her sister wouldn't be worrying her to sleeplessness. She wouldn't have been nearly as stressed or worried. She wouldn't-

"Hey," Elsa gave her hand a light squeeze, " don't blame yourself for my clerical errors."

"How did you-"

"I know that look, sunshine." Elsa poked her sister's nose, the same way their mama used to. Anna gave a small smile, enjoying the familiar comfort. "I promise, you don't need to worry about this. I can manage."

Anna's smile fell a bit. "You can, but you don't have to do it alone. You've done so much for me, how can I help you?"

"Anna, you really don't need to. I promise." Elsa gave a small yawn. "I'm okay."

Anna sighed, knowing this wasn't a battle she would win at the moment. But she could still help. "Will you lay down with me for a bit?" She saw the look of contemplation on her sister's face, weighing the pros of working versus sleeping. She couldn't help but feel happy when Elsa ultimately shut the laptop. 

Soon they were both snuggled into Elsa's bed warm and content. Resting her head against Elsa's chest, Anna smiled. She had done something good, something right. And before she could even say her goodnight, she drifted off feeling better than she had in days.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes things snap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy guys, this is the chapter that bumped us up to the M rating. Between this and the domestic violence case, I don't want any little kiddos coming and reading it and thinking that they're okay enough to read it and it becomes too much.
> 
> This chapter vividly describes a mental health crisis. Please use caution reading if this is something triggering for you. I love you all so much.

“I know she means well, but sometimes it feels like she’s smothering me. I can take care of myself. I did it for five years. I'm not fragile." Anna sighed. She needed this session. Knowing that her therapist wasn't there to make her feel bad about what she was feeling helped immensely. Her feelings were still intense, but with the therapist, processing them wasn't as scary. She was allowed to feel everything, even the bad thoughts.

"And have you talked to your sister about that?" 

Anna shook her head. “I don’t want to upset her. She’s done so much to help me and I don’t want to make her mad at me.”

Her therapist gave her that damned head tilt. She knew it was her way of indicating that Anna was having a distorted thought, but Anna couldn’t but feel as if she were in trouble in some way. “Why do you think you’ll upset her?”

Her eyes scrunched up, and she bit her lip nervously. “Because she’s doing things. She’s being so kind and caring, and I don’t want to ruin that.” 

“And do you think that telling your sister you’re upset will stop her from helping you?” Anna sighed. She hated this part of therapy. It just seemed like they were talking in circles. Of course she thought Elsa would be upset for denying her kindness. Her sister could be explosive at times when they were younger. Granted it was a side effect of years of untreated anxiety and mood disorders. But that fear always lingered, even if her sister hadn’t had an explosive episode in years. Anna was not prepared to be the reason she went off. 

“I do.”

“What is your main fear of telling her?”

She felt a chill run down her spine. "That she wouldn't want me around anymore. Call me ungrateful and make me feel guilty."

Her therapist nodded, writing a note on her legal pad. It always made Anna feel off when her therapist wrote in that stupid pad. “How else might she react if you told her?”

Anna shrugged, “I don’t know. Ignore me? Give me a cold shoulder?” Blow up completely in her face?

“Perhaps,” her therapist said. “Do you remember when I told you about the negative attribution bias?”

Her mind raced. The phrase was familiar, but she couldn’t quite place it. “Kind of?”

“It makes you think the worst in people and that any situation will turn out badly.” she said, tweaking her glasses. “It’s very common in people with post-traumatic stress disorder.” 

Post-traumatic stress disorder? She wasn’t a veteran. She couldn’t have that. 

“I know you don’t like talking about labels, but it’s something that might help you understand it better. It’s a protective mechanism. It’s isn’t necessarily good or bad, but if you can identify it, then you might be able to use it to help yourself.

“He left an impact on you, Anna. And it’s okay that you’re still feeling those impacts. I know it’s hard to talk about, but it’s something to keep in mind when you have these kinds of thoughts.” 

Anna took a deep breath, feeling anger building in her. She hated this so much. Hans wasn’t even here he still was ruining her. When she was younger, she was the eternal optimist, the embodiment of happiness. She had lost so much, but she thought that at least that was still in tact. But she knew it was a delusion.

He had taken that too. 

“What’s going through your mind? What are you feeling?” the therapist asked after letting the silence linger a moment.

“I feel angry,” she replied, eyes squinted closed. “He takes and he takes and he takes. And I can’t get rid of him, no matter what I try. And I know Elsa isn’t Hans, but I can’t help but think everyone will react like he does and I can’t stop it. I can’t stop it.”

Tears fell down her face. It wasn’t uncommon for her to cry in therapy, but she still didn’t like the feeling of laying her soul out in the open. It felt like physical pain, her heart raw and hurting. 

“He changed you, that’s true. All relationships change people, Miss Anna. But not all change is negative. Do you think you can think of something positive that has come from this fallout?”

The change in pace helped to redirect her mind. Good things. Positive things. “I got to reconnect with Elsa since Mom and Dad.”

Her therapist nodded. “You did. What else?”

It took her a little longer to think. “I have more friends. I have a job. I have my own money.”

“And do you think those are bad things because they came about because of him?”

Anna shook her head. She wouldn’t give up her relationships with Elsa and Maren and Ryder and Kristoff for anything. Even though her job was giving her troubles, she could buy things on her own. She didn’t need permission to do the things she wanted. It was nice. 

“You don’t have to be afraid of your sister, Anna. From what you’ve told me, it sounds like she’s doing what she thinks is helpful for you. I think she is reasonable enough to listen to what you’re telling her and work with you to do something that is helpful for you.”

Anna felt her breath slow. Her therapist was right. Her sister may get upset, but it wasn't the same as when Hans got upset. Elsa would listen to her where Hans would belittle her. "I think you're right."

Her therapist nodded before shifting in her seat and putting down her legal pad. "Now before we close out our session, let's talk about your homework for the week."

Anna nodded, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. Though it was a normal part of their process, homework still made her uncomfortable at times. Goal setting was good- every self help book she had been reading told her so- but sometimes it just made her feel set up for failure when the days were hard. 

“I know homework has been tough the last few weeks. What do you think feels like a manageable goal for this week?”

Anna’s eyes perked up. Choosing something for herself might make it a little easier, rather than piecing together the crumbs her therapist had probably been leaving through the session that she hadn’t been picking up on. “Hmmm,” she hummed thinking.

What could she do? She could do anything right? The idea of limitless possibilities was a little scary. But she had to do something. “I don’t really know,” she admitted sheepishly. 

“Well,” her therapist started, looking to the ground with a calculated look on her face. “You said that you’ve been reading self help books again, yes?”

Anna nodded. It wasn’t much, but it was something that she felt she could do between sessions to feel a little less alone. But if she was already doing it, then why would she have that be her homework for the coming weeks?

“Those books tend to have little goals etched in them to help people feel better. Can you think of any tips from the book that you’ve wanted to try out?”

“Running.”

The word slipped out of her mouth before she even had time to think. She hadn’t been running since she was on track in high school. She almost had a scholarship, but after Hans, that all fell by the wayside. She missed the feeling of the wind in her hair, the ache in her legs. The all too real runner’s high. It made her feel good. 

“That sounds like a great step. Now let’s make it a concrete goal. The next right thing.”

Anna gave a small smile. The next right thing indeed.

\---

A few days later, Anna found herself huffing to run out of her apartment. Elsa had been intense the last few days. Her sister was clearly stressed over work, but was still trying to hover over Anna and make sure she wasn’t on the verge of a panic attack. It was unsettling.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you? I promise I have time if you don’t want to go alone.”

Anna rolled her eyes, shifting her hold arm band into place. “Elsa, I’m not going to die if I’m away from you for one second, I swear.”

“I know that, but-”

“Do you?” Anna interrupted, feeling a surge of anger and discontent. It was uncomfortable, but she needed to let it out. “I’m not a child, Elsa! I can manage a walk by myself. I swear, you can be so- so- insufferable sometimes!” She could see the hurt in her sister’s eyes, but couldn’t feel the pang of guilt underneath the relief of letting go of her emotions.

“I- I’m sorry. Go for your walk. I’ll see you later.”

Her anger had ended just as quickly as it had started. Anna’s eyes softened. “No, Elsa I’m sorry. I-”

“No. You don’t have to apologize,” she said a bit dejectedly. “Just go for your run. I’ll be here when you get back.”

“El-”

“Go.”

Anna huffed running out the door. That had gone about as swimmingly as she had hoped it would. She secured her keys and phone before heading out into the early spring afternoon.

It was the perfect day for her running experiment. It was a bit cool out, but not cold. The sun felt nice on her face, warm and comforting. She picked up an easy pace, easing her body back into the familiar motions. And though it had been almost five years since she ran, it felt as though it had been but a day.

The comfort was short lived however. Her mind wandered as she went down streets and avenues. Worries about her words with Elsa filled her thoughts. It wasn’t so much a fight as a squabble, but she knew it had affected her sister. This time was meant to be for her, though, not to worry about her sister. So, she pushed the thoughts from her mind and worked to enjoy herself, not exactly paying attention to her surroundings. 

Until something- or rather someone- ran into her. 

Anna yelped in pain, caught off guard by the sudden movement. “Hey! Watch where you’re going!”

“Sorry! Sorry! Are you okay?”

A woman with spiked mutli-colored hair did her best to pick the two of them up. Anna would have sworn she was also running if not for the fact she practically jumped into Anna.

"I've been better," Anna said dusting herself off. "What are you in such a rush for? You training for a marathon or something?"

"Or something," she smiled. "Ever heard of parkour?"

Anna nodded and gave a slight tilt of her head. She didn't realize people actually did that anymore. Not seriously anyway. "Yeah. But why are you doing it?"

The woman laughed. "The university sponsors a class in the park for it. I figured it could up my mail carrier game."

Anna smiled herself. "A parkouring mailwoman? Now that's something you don't hear everyday."

"Person." they corrected. "Mail person. I'm non-binary."

Anna felt the blood rush to her face. Oh god, she didn't mean to make this person uncomfortable. Why couldnt she keep her stupid mouth shut? "I'm sorry, I-"

They waved her off. "It's okay happens all the time. I'm Gale. How about you?"

She let go of a breath she didn't realize she was holding. "Anna," she said with a warm smile.

"Well, Anna, perhaps you would want to try out the parkour class? Seems like something for a fast runner like you," they teased.

Anna tried to think of a million reasons to say no. She would be late for an appointment. Elsa would get worried. She would miss her shift. But something silenced those thoughts.

"I think that sounds incredible."

\---

"It was incredible, Maren! I've never felt anything like it."

Anna's grin hadn't left her face since she did her first tuck and roll. Parkour was exhilarating. It combined the high energy she loved about running, but also let her feel like a little kid again swinging and flowing through the park. She took a quick bite of her frozen yogurt, trying to both enjoy the treat but also ride the high of telling her friends.

It was a nice tradition they had, getting some kind of frozen treat every week. She truly did enjoy spending time with Honeymaren. Especially after everything that had taken place in Denver, she had found a true friend in her sister’s girlfriend. And her sister’s girlfriend’s brother.

“And Ryder, you would absolutely love it. It’s the thrill of climbing trees on steroids.”

Ryder smiled at her, laughing. “I’ve done it a few times at this obstacle gym. If I had known that you would be into it we could have gone a long while ago.”

Anna puffed out her cheeks. “You’ve been parkouring before and you never told me?” she teased.

Maren gave a slight smile. “Probably because he falls more than he runs and jumps over things.”

“I do not!” he laughed, swatting at his sister’s arm. “I just- I just like to test gravity every once in a while. That’s all.”

“Sounds a lot like falling to me, baby brother,” she teased.

“First off, that’s not correct and you know it. And second what if I am falling? It’s all about the momentum, baby.”

Maren shoved her brother. “Yeah yeah, you big goof.”

Anna smiled watching the siblings banter with one another. She sighed, getting lost in thought again. She hoped she and Elsa would be okay when they were both home. Elsa was currently in her own therapy session for the week. Afterwards, they would probably both be calm enough to deal with their little squabble. 

She felt her phone vibrating. That was probably Elsa there, calling for her ride home.

“Hi, Elsa. Are you ready to go?”

“Miss Arendelle, this is Julia from Berkeley Behavioral Health. Do you have a moment?”

\---

Anna sped the entire way home. Julia from Berekley told her that her sister had missed her appointment two weeks in a row, and that they wanted to check up on her after some things she had mentioned in session. Damned confidentiality left Anna fearing the worst. Maren was also incredibly worried, coming with her without a moment’s hesitation. At least Anna wasn’t alone in whatever she was about to face. She knew her sister’s past better than anyone. And the thought terrified her.

“Elsa?”

Tentatively, Anna walked into the apartment, doing her best not to startle her sister.. But that quietness proved unnecessary as she entered the living room.

Elsa was lying on the floor curled up in a ball, rocking back and forth as harsh sobs came from her chest. Papers and books were strung about the room, her laptop lay haphazardly on the couch as if it could give her any answers to whatever her problems were. “I can’t- I can’t do this.”

She kept repeating it over and over again.

“Elsa. Elsa.” Anna ran towards her sister, careful to be close but not touch. Elsa was incredibly sensitive to all sensation at times like this. Anxiety attacks were one thing, but she had never seen her sister this broken before. She had no idea what might happen if she tried to hug her without asking, no matter how much she wanted to wrap her sister up and protect her from whatever had her hurting so bad.

“Anna?” She looked up wearily. Her eyes were bloodshot, makeup worn away from tears exposed just how tired her sister was. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She reached out her arms, grabbing onto her sister into a tight hug.

“You’re okay, Elsie. You’re okay,” she said, trying to keep her own tears from falling. Her sister needed her, even if she was scared out of her mind. Anna looked over to Maren, who was just as terrified as she was. 

Her sister was too inconsolable. And if Elsa’s therapist was concerned enough to call her emergency contact, something was seriously up. They needed help, even if Elsa would resist. “Else, do you think you can come with me and go see Julia?”

“No, no!” Elsa shrieked. “They’re- they’re gonna lock me up. I don’t- I don’t wanna go.”

Anna shook her head. “They aren’t gonna lock you up, sissy. Remember? They only do that if they think you’re at risk, remember what you told me?”

“Risk to self, risk to others,” Elsa said, a bit quieter than before. “But, but I am. I’m a monster.”

“No, no,” she shushed. “Not a monster. Upset, yes. Anxious, yes. But never a monster, sissy.” Anna locked eyes with Maren, mouthing to get her phone. “It’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be okay, you’ll see. We’re just going to talk with Julia, do what we can to help you settle, okay?” 

Elsa cried harder, rocking back and forth. “Don’t let them take me away.”

Anna’s heart broke. “I won’t let them. I promise.”

Elsa didn’t argue her words, giving her full trust to Anna it seemed. She made a promise, and damn it she was going to keep it come hell or high water. They would go to the crisis counseling center and it would all be better. They would come home, and they would be safe, and all this would be over.

At least she could hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grad school is hard and I miss you all so much. I'm just so happy to get something new out and I hope you all enjoy it <3 Much love
> 
> -Al


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elsa is not okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ummm yeah, so a lot of things happened in the last three weeks. I had to take some time off writing for my own mental health. In the weird ways of the world I accidently foreshadowed my own trip to the hospital for an awful anxiety attack. I apologize if this chapter doesn't flow as well as the others, but I needed this. This chapter would have existed with or without said visit, but it was cathartic to write like this.
> 
> Please enjoy

Maren had never been much of a religious woman, nor was she now. But seeing Elsa in the state she was in now, she prayed to every deity she could think of, hoping one of them would be there listening and there to help her snowflake. She had never seen her in this much distress, not even after the trial, and it scared her. It scared her a lot.

They were barely at the crisis counseling clinic for fifteen minutes before they were being redirected to the hospital. Elsa was inconsolable and any number of techniques her therapist, Julia, had tried fell on deaf ears. While Elsa needed to talk to someone, Julia couldn’t be of much help until Elsa’s body calmed down enough for her to listen. 

“It’s a panic attack. It’s not like she’s threatening to kill herself,” Anna said, nervously holding onto Elsa, who was clinging onto dear life, breathing shallow and body shaking.

“No, she isn’t. But, Miss Anna, she is in obvious physiological distress. The emergency room is better equipped to handle this than our clinic for the physical symptoms.” Julia looked comfortingly to Elsa. “I know you’re worried about getting hospitalized, but you need something more than we can provide here, Miss Elsa.”

“Don’t- don’t lock me up, please! I promise I’ll calm down! Please!”

Maren’s heart shattered. Her love was obviously in so much pain and so afraid. And there wasn’t a damn thing she could do to help it. She squeezed her hand lightly “It’s okay, snowflake. They aren’t going to lock you up. They’re just going to help you relax.” Her eyes glanced over to Julia, hoping to hear some confirmation.

Thankfully, Julia delivered. “Miss Maren is right, Miss Elsa. They are not going to lock you up. I’m going to call over and tell them what is going on and make sure you get the care you need. And when you’re settled we can start tackling all of those other things, okay?”

Elsa’s breathing slowed, if only slightly, with that. Maren was grateful, and she was sure Anna was too. “And we aren’t leaving unless you want us too,” she said, cautiously stroking Elsa’s hair when as she curled further into Anna’s side. 

“We’re all here for you, sis.” Anna pressed a kiss to her forehead.

The emergency room went as well as could be expected. Elsa’s pulse and blood pressure were high enough that she needed two doses of sedative, but to her relief there was no need for needles or IVs. Nor was there any need to admit her. 

Maren let Elsa lay her head against her chest, running a soft hand against her arm. “See, snowflake. It’s all okay.”

Elsa looked up at her with glassy eyes, finally settling down from the sedatives. “I’m sorry for worrying you.”

“Shush.” Maren put a finger over her lips. “It’s not your fault. I’m going to worry about you no matter what, but I’m also going to be here no matter what.”

Elsa’s eyes drooped shut. “You should get some sleep. We have work tomorrow.”

Maren shook her head. Of course Elsa would insist on going to work after all of this. She tapped on Elsa’s nose. “I have work tomorrow. You are resting at home in a bundle of blankets with movies and Anna.”

She could feel Elsa's shoulders tense up- only strengthening her resolve to get her girlfriend to rest. The worries and tension were what got her here in the first place. She couldn't keep doing this to herself.

“I’m supposed to teach tomorrow. I can’t-”

Anna spoke up from her chair in the corner. “Your students will not care that you cancelled class. You are more important, Elsa."

"But I-"

"No buts about it." Maren put a finger over her lips, pressing a kiss to her head. "Tomorrow- well today I guess- is Thursday. You don't have any classes, and I think your undergraduates can manage a day or two alone in the lab. And I'm sure Dr. Porter won't mind you taking an extended weekend after we explain all this."

Elsa sighed, fully letting herself relax against Maren and the hospital bed. Maren smiled, glancing over to see Anna wink. They got her.

And they weren't about to let her go.

\---

Her brain felt foggy for lack of a better word. It shouldn't surprise her really between the sedatives at the hospital and the medicine at home. But she supposed it was better than the utter chaos of her mind the night before.

She knew she shouldn't have gotten so worked up over everything. She knew it was stupid. But after fighting with Anna, the dam that had been building inside broke. If it had been a normal anxiety attack, she could manage that, but this was anything but that.

Her focus had been shot. All she could do was stare at the wall. Time had passed but she didn't understand how or why. Sometimes the panic rose, making it hard to breathe, while other times her whole body stilled. She knew she should have moved, but her muscles wouldn't listen. 

She remembered the phone ringing. The phone ringing and then curling into a ball and then the door opening and-

Elsa felt her breath catch. She couldn't fall back into that state. They might not let her go so easily if it happened twice. 

She wiggled out of bed, careful not to disturb Anna or Maren. From what she could see in the early light of dawn, they apparently had formed a protective nest around her during the night. But Elsa needed to shake this sleepy disorienting feeling and she couldn't do that cuddled up with her family. She moved slowly, her body still not quite feeling right. It wasn't the out of body feeling she had last night, but rather a slow and sluggish feeling. A pot of coffee would fix her right up.

Her mind wandered as the pot brewed. How had it been just 12 hours ago she was in the hospital too terrified to move or think or breathe? How could she be so stupid to let her sister, who had far worse problems than she worry over her when she had every right to be mad at her? How had-

“Hey, what did the doctor say about caffeine?”

Anna’s voice startled her, causing her to drop the mug in her hands. She could feel the tears brew in her eyes before the mug even had the chance to break into pieces. Her hands were pressed against her forehead. How could she be stupid? So, so stupid-

Anna’s hand was on her back, small circles bringing her out of her thoughts back to reality.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, rubbing away stray tears.

Anna shook her head, a knowing look of kindness on her face. How was it that in all her pain, all her suffering, Anna was the one to come out with the eternal loving and kindness? She was her baby sister. Elsa should be doing this for her. Not Anna picking up the pieces of her broken, anxious, stupid self.

“You don’t have to apologize.” Her voice was soft, as if it didn’t really matter that she broke a cup and disturbed the peace and probably woke up Maren. Oh God Maren. She probably scared her away at this point-

“Elsa.”

Her eyes refocused, staring at the end of Anna’s braid- too nervous to look her in the eye. 

“We can clean this up. Okay?”

Elsa nodded. She felt like a child. God she was so stupid and helpless. Why did they even want her around?

Before the thoughts could spiral too far, Anna was handing her a dustpan and sweeping up the broken ceramic as if this was just a normal Thursday morning.

“All fixed, see?” Anna thumbed a tear away from her eye with one hand, squeezing Elsa’s hand with the other. “Why don’t I make us some tea, and we can go cuddle up in my bed while your fair maiden sleeps, hmm?”

Elsa nodded again, biting her lip. She could do this. This was for Anna. Anna deserved so much more than a sister who woke her up far too early and bothered her too much and couldn’t even pull herself up together after a petty fight.

She made it back into bed without much fuss. Olaf and Bruni greeted her with sleepy purrs, serenading her into a drowsy warmth. Time was still moving strangely, for after what seemed like only a second, Anna was placing a hot mug of tea on the nightstand. 

“Penny for your thoughts,” Anna said, crawling in beside her.

Elsa’s mind blanked. Then again, it didn’t feel like it was working much anyway. “I don’t- I don’t remember,” she said, head down. Anna didn’t say anything, but Elsa could practically feel her sister’s solemn expression watching her.

“Elsa, please.” Her sister’s voice cracked and a wave of guilt washed over Elsa. “Please talk to me. Please don’t shut me out, not again.”

“I’m sorry,” was all she could make out before the flood gates came down. Heavy sobs choked her, her body trembled unable to keep up any longer. And like the perfect sister that Elsa certainly didn’t deserve, Anna was there holding her, rocking her gently as the weeks of frustration made their way out.

“I’m so behind on everything,” were the first words she could say. Sure, she kept a decent track of her undergraduate students, but everything else was a mess. Her dissertation was moving dreadfully slow, slower than her PI thought it should. Dr. Porter had never been angry at her, but Elsa could tell she was reaching her limits. What hours she did spend in her lab, she felt more a benchwarmer than a useful scientist. 

“It’s so- so hard to focus on anything,” she cried, aggressively rubbing her hands on her pajama pants. She could practically hear their father in her head scolding her over the soothing motion, only causing her to worry more. “I can’t sleep at night because I’m worrying about all the things I couldn’t get done or if you’re okay or if something bad is going to happen or- or- '' She felt herself begin to hyperventilate, thoughts and feelings swirling around her like a storm she couldn’t control. 

Anna held her tight, the rock the Elsa didn’t realize she needed. “We’ll get through this,” she murmured, continuing her soft rocking. “Thank you for telling me. I know it’s hard for you to open up about all this.”

Elsa sniffled, trying to gain some sense of composure. “You aren’t mad at me?” She felt like a child, asking for approval she shouldn’t need. She was a grown adult for god's sake, she shouldn’t need Anna’s approval. But she craved it, craved some indication she wasn’t a complete screw up. 

Anna handed her a tissue off the nightstand, wiping gently at her face. “Not mad.” She shook her head, brushing a stray hair out of Elsa’s eyes. “But Els, you can’t hold it all in like this. It turned out okay this time, but what if next time it doesn’t and they do have to admit you?” Elsa felt her sister’s hot tears on her leg. “Please, Elsie. You don’t have to bear this alone.”

“I didn’t want to worry you, what with- what with-,” she couldn’t bear to say the bastard’s name, “-Denver.”

Anna nodded, understanding with that sad look in her eyes. “We do this together. You did amazing with Denver and with helping me. Please, let me take care of you for a bit. You aren’t alone. I’m never going to leave you alone, even when we’re both petty and grumpy and mad at one another. I won’t leave you to face this alone; the same way you wouldn’t let me face him alone.”

Elsa rubbed at her eyes and nose. Her mind felt a little clearer as she allowed herself to relax against Anna. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“I’m sorry you felt like you needed to hide it,” she said, gently handing her another tissue. “But you don’t have to hide anymore. Promise.”

Another set of tears welled in her eyes. “What did I do to deserve you as a sister?” Anna gave a small smile, beginning to stroke her arm and dismissing the comment. Elsa let her eyes shut and her breathing settled again.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Amidst the chaos, Elsa couldn’t help but feel like this time might actually be different. No more secrets, no more shut doors, no more hidden tears. They couldn’t do this any other way, and in all honesty Elsa didn’t want it any other way. They would find their way, side by side, just as sisters should be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise next chapter will be lighter.
> 
> Love you all,  
> Al


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm back at it again! I really do try for a weekly update, but between everything in life well it may not be feasible but I'll always try. Hope you all are doing alright <3

“Come on, slowpokes! We’re going to be late!”

Elsa couldn’t help but laugh as her little sister rushed ahead, running and tumbling through the streets. Though admittedly it still made Elsa nervous, parkour was an active part of Anna's life now- a part that made Anna happier than she had in months. The pure joy on Anna’s face as she swung around on dubiously strong light fixtures was worth the minor scrapes and bruises she helped fix up at the end of the day.

“Oh no you don’t!”

She shook her head as both Kristoff and Ryder ran ahead as well. They had gotten so competitive in the wake of Anna’s newfound strength, always wanting to race when given the opportunity. It left some sense of normalcy that had been gone for the longest while. But unlike her companions, she felt no reason to rush. Softball had nine innings after all; it was okay to take her time.The warm spring sun felt perfect on her face, a light breeze bringing her peace and clarity of mind.

As April turned to May, the weather wasn’t the only thing that was improving. After her night in the emergency room, things changed quickly for Elsa. Berkeley Behavioral Health had ordered a genetic test for her, one that tested the compatibility of antidepressants with her body. And after years of the wrong medication, Elsa finally had something that worked. Between that and exercise and the increased sessions with her therapist, the highs felt good again and the lows weren’t as scary. It was incredible what just a few small changes made. 

She felt better than she had in years.

She could work again. Her responsibilities were still stressful; her students still emailed her at two in the morning over their exam results or advice for their papers; her dissertation was still a mess. But the mess was manageable now. Nights that might have otherwise been lost to crying and sleeplessness had turned into only an hour or two of distress. The chains on her mind had loosened, not broken, but there was space to breathe again. Space for fun. Space for life. And to her greatest joy, space for Honeymaren, who had been by her side the whole time, even when things were tiring or frustrating or upsetting.

Elsa could finally repay her for the previous months in gentle kisses and sweet love. She could be there for all the little moments they had missed before: rubbing soft circles in her back as she lamented the awful PTA meetings she was forced to attend; holding her as she told her about the awful phone calls she had to make that day; smiling as her love got excited over a lacrosse match. Or in this moment, getting to watch the middle school softball team she had heard so much about at night.

The sound of a ball clinking against a bat drew her attention from her thoughts. The faint sound of cheering followed, unconsciously quickening Elsa’s steps towards the small field.

The stands were relatively empty, not that Elsa truly expected much different. It was a sixth grade softball game in the middle of Thursday afternoon; parents were the target demographic. But even for the light crowd, the kids in the dugout certainly filled the field with energy and excitement. 

Well at least the kids on the opposite team. Maren’s girls for the most part, bless their hearts, were terrified of the ball. And being a home game, it would take a while to get past the top of the inning. 

“Come on, Janie! You can do it! Strike them out!” Maren cheered enthusiastically from the side. Elsa couldn’t help but blush; Maren looked good in her coaching uniform, highlighting more than her authoritative attitude. She couldn’t help but stare at her-

“Quit gawking at your girlfriend! There’s baseball happening here!” Anna shouted from above her.

Elsa laughed, racing up the bleachers to her sister. “You stinker!” she teased, tussling her sister’s hair. “I’ll get you back for that.” 

Anna laughed in return. "I'm not the one eye-fucking my girlfriend at a children's sporting event."

"Anna, language!" she jabbed before any of the parents could do the same. 

Anna rolled her eyes before looking at Kristoff and Ryder. "Am I wrong?"

Ryder shook his head laughing. "Sorry, sis. I'm asexual as they come and even I can tell that's what you were thinking." 

"You've never been exactly subtle, Els," Kristoff chuckled, only causing Elsa to blush more heavily.

Elsa glared at him. It was good natured, but she would kill for the teasing to end."Hush up and watch the game."

"As you wish, your majesty."

\---

"Eye on the ball doesn't mean it's gonna hit you! You can do it, Megs!" Ryder shouted from the stands.

Even he had to admit, this year's team wasn't the easiest to cheer for. The girls were quite timid and afraid, especially of the spherical object that ran the game. But, dutiful brother and occasional waterboy, he would cheer them on day in and day out. Even if they hadn't scored in four games.

"I'm sorry, Coach's Brother!" A dejected preteen shouted back after striking out.

"It's okay, kid! You'll get it next time!"

Ryder sat back down, resting between two bleachers. The innings were moving slowly, but at least they were moving. He looked to the field changing and then to his friends around him. Maren was high-fiving her students, making any attempt to bring their spirits up. Elsa on the other hand was still eyeing his sister, with Anna not so slyly taking embarrassing pictures. And then there was Kris.

Kris was engrossed in something, flustered by something on his phone. It was cute, the way that he bit his lip and scrunched his brow. "You know the baseball's up here," he teased, poking his ex-boyfriend on the shoulder.

“Sorry,” Kris sighed, putting his phone down. “Guess I’m a bit distracted is all.”

Ryder huffed, looking back at their friends. “Seems you aren’t the only one. But I think I’m better to help you than them, don’t you think?”

“Maybe.” He stretched his back, smiling at the satisfying crack. “Just looking at jobs, but I- I feel conflicted.”

“What over, find something better than baristaing?” Ryder teased lightly. “You’ve been applying for weeks, did you get a hit somewhere?”

“Sort of.” Kris ran a hand through his hair, his eyes looking around. “They’re offering me a promotion at Mermaid’s. They want me to be the assistant store manager. They want to train me to run the whole damn thing.”

Ryder couldn’t help but smile. The promotion would mean the world to Kris. He would be able to fix up his car properly and finally have a regular schedule and probably so many other things. “That’s amazing, dude! That’s so exciting! Why aren't you excited?”

“I- I don’t know,” he said, nervously picking at some grout in the bleacher. “I would have to take some more classes and certification. More food safety and even some management and marketing classes at the community college. But- I don’t know. Weeks ago I was so desperate to get out of there and now they’re offering this position and it feels almost like a betrayal to me? I don’t know it’s stupid,” he shrugged. 

“It’s not stupid, man. It’s a big decision. And it’s not one you have to make right now.” He gave Kris a pat on the back, turning to get up. “You know what will make this better?”

“Yeah, and what’s that?” he asked, with that dumb little teasing sound to his voice.

“Nachos,” he said point blank. “I’ll be right back.”

He headed straight down to the small concession stand. He tried to be as fast as possible, but perhaps he was a little too fast when-

“Shit, not again! I’m so so sorry. Are you okay?” A young woman with bright multicolored hair ran into him, sending his food falling. “Oh no, I’m so sorry. Let me get you a new one? Please?”

“Um, I’m okay. Are you okay?” he asked, brushing the last of his chips off of his shirt, a bit baffled by what happened. “You don’t have to, it’s not a big deal.” If he was being perfectly honest, he wasn’t sure who had run into who. 

“No, no please I insist,” she said, helping to brush off a few crumbs. “I’m Gale,”

“Ryder,” he said, starting back to the stand. He was finally able to get a good look at her- no them. He noticed a pronoun button, pinned proudly on a t-shirt for the middle school. “One of your kids go here? I’ve been around for a while, but I can’t say I recognize you.”

“My nephew,” they said before turning and ordering. “I think he has a crush on one of the girls on the team. He certainly has a sudden interest in baseball, that’s for sure. But who am I to object? I’ve always wanted to share it with him. Glad I finally can.”

Ryder smiled. “That’s sweet. Some of my favorite memories were of my dad taking me and my little sister out to play. Definitely something worth passing-”

“Gale!”

Anna was shouting up from the bleachers. How the hell did Anna know them?

“Hey! How’s my favorite barista?” they laughed as Anna started to come down. “I was just going to text you! What are you doing tomorrow night?”

“I get off at 10:30. Pre-closer, so hopefully I’ll be out on time. What’s up?” she said, dusting herself off. “Ryder, this is my friend Gale. I met them at my parkour class.”

Ryder nodded, grabbing the food that was set out. “So this is that Gale? Nice to finally meet you.”

Gale blushed. “Talking about me?” they teased. “Hopefully good things.”

“All good things,” Anna said rolling her eyes. “Like how badass you are, how you always manage to beat me in a race, all sorts of good things.”

They laughed. “Well I’m flattered. Well I was going to text you and ask if you would want to come out with me to Oaken’s tomorrow night? They’re doing a fundraiser for some high school’s GSA. Karaoke and drink profit goes to the school. What do you say?”

“How did a high school manage to run a fundraiser through a gay bar?” she asked with a small laugh. Ryder nodded; he was thinking the same thing.

“I think the owner’s kid goes there,” they shrugged. “Nevermind that, what do you think?”

Anna pondered it for a second. “Hmmm. What do you think, Ryder?”

HIs eyes widened. Was she trying to get them together? What was her goal here? “I mean it sounds like fun. You should go.”

“Think I would be fine bringing some others?” she asked. 

Gale nodded enthusiastically. “More the merrier. It’s for a good cause.” 

“Perfect! Ryder, you tell Kris and I’ll tell Elsa?” She pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before running off. “This’ll be fantastic.”

Ryder stood in shock for a second. “Um, sorry about that. Anna has a bit of a habit of-”

“Meddling?” they laughed. “I know. She kept trying to set me up on dates until I told her I was aroace.”

He didn’t think his eyes could get any wider. That’s why Anna was asking what he thought. “I- I’ve never- I’ve never,”

They tossed some of their hair back. “It’s okay. A lot of people don’t understand. Don’t worry."

“No, no,” he said, putting a hand out as if to catch himself from stumbling over his words. “It’s just- I just realized it myself a couple of months ago. I haven’t met someone- not in real life at least- someone like me.”

Gale smiled. “Well Ryder, then I will happily be your first triple-A friend: asexual, aromantic, agender.”

Ryder smiled back at them. “I- uh- thank you.”

“Now come on, we’ve got some softball to watch.”

\---

“Elsa, come on. You are not going to a gay bar in your professor clothes.”

Elsa tilted her head at Honeymaren. “What do you mean? I look good.”

“You look professional,” Maren said, wrapping her arms around her waist. She leaned her head into the crook of Elsa’s neck. “Besides, how am I going to dance with you if you wear that stiff shirt?” 

Elsa laughed a little bit as Maren nibbled at her ear with a kiss. “You seem to be doing just fine right now.”

“Mmmmm,” she moaned softly. “Perhaps, but you’ll get hot so quickly in that.”

“Oh, you’re worried about me being hot?” Elsa teased, reaching back to touch Maren’s hips. “Then what do you think I should wear, Oh Great Firemistress?”

“You are such a dork,” she said, sneaking one last kiss. Maren searched through her girlfriend’s closet, working past her usual work clothes. “What about this? I’ve never seen you wear it?”

“Never the occasion. A navy sundress isn’t exactly lab attire?” 

“Hmmm, well good thing we aren’t going to the lab,” Maren smiled mischievously. “For me?”

“Well,” Elsa smiled, tapping on her chin. “Only if you help me take this off?” she teased.

“Oh, that I can absolutely do.”

\---

Kristoff paced nervously in the living room. He hadn’t been out in a while, much less going out with his ex-boyfriend and their group of friends. But this would be fun right?

“How long does it take to get dressed to go out? Elsa is usually a stickler for time,” Anna sighed sitting down on the ground, her back against the couch. 

“Well I don’t know if you noticed, but my sister is also in there with your sister. We could be waiting a while,” Ryder teased, handing her a controller. “Might as well play.”

“Uck-” Anna said, taking the offered controller. “Don’t make me think about the fact our sisters might be having sex while we’re home.”

“Hey, I don’t like it either! Why do you think I put on Mario Kart?” 

Kristoff smiled. Even after all this time, Ryder made his heart flutter. He shook his head and pushed it aside. He couldn’t act on it. It wasn’t right. “You know we could just go bug them to hurry up?”

“And risk burning my eyes out? Fat chance,” he laughed. “You want in next round, Kris?”

“Sure, I’ll play winner.”

Maybe going out wouldn’t be so bad. He could let loose of it all, be whoever he wanted for a night. It would be good. It had to be.

\---

Anna didn’t know what to expect when they arrived, but it certainly wasn’t the dance club they arrived at. She hadn’t heard much about it other than seeing it on the news when it first opened, but Anna hadn’t been much for clubbing when she had first come to the city. It was everything the old Anna would have loved: loud music, a large dance floor, and plenty of people. 

She fiddled nervously with the bands on her wrist. She had to admit, the club was pretty clever. There were a set of bands for the gender you identified as and a second set for what you were looking for. It had always been a passive thing, something she and Elsa had talked about, but she never brought it out in public. She had been too vulnerable after Hans to try and deal with it. But wearing the bisexual bracelet made it real, powerful. She could be her true self with no limits.

The music blared an old pop song she couldn’t but dance to. She smiled, letting herself move freely towards the bar where Kristoff was sitting alone. “What are you doing here by yourself?” she asked with a little more gusto than normal. “You’re at a dance club, and you aren’t dancing!” 

“I don’t have that kinda rhythm,” he laughed, sipping on his whiskey. “Go, I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Now,” she laughed, a bit giddy. “Come on, the song is called “Shut Up and Dance” not “Sit Down and Drink.””

Kristoff shook his head, downing the last of his drink. “You’re drunk.”

“Maybe...” she slurred. Her mind did feel a bit foggy, but it was a good fog. A happy fog. A fog she wanted to share with Kristoff. “Come on, please?”

Much to her delight, he joined her in dancing. Neither were particularly good, but they didn’t have to be. She danced against him, her back to his chest and breathing in his scent. Normally the musk of sweat and alcohol would have turned her away, but she found herself wanting to draw closer. 

“Having fun?” he asked as her movements slowed. Her limbs were tired, and she just wanted to hold onto his warm embrace. 

“The best,” she said, breathless. “The best because you’re here and it’s fun and it’s really really nice.”

She felt his chest shudder, but decided to ignore it. “Best because I’m here?”

“Mhm,” she nodded. “I know you’re sad about Ryder still, but you came and are having fun.” Her eyes opened wildly, gaze unfocused. “You are having fun aren’t you? I’m sorry. I’m so awkward. I’ll shut up and-”

“No, no, I am having fun,” he gave a small laugh that made her whole chest feel like it was about ready to burst. “Thats just not what I thought you were going to say.”

Her body relaxed again against him. “I’m glad you’re having fun,” she said, her eyes getting tired. 

“You wanna sit down for a bit? Have some water?” He was holding onto her hand, leading her off the floor. She nodded slowly, letting him lead her to a chair. “There we go. I’ll be right back.”

“Thanks, Kris. Love you.”

She didn’t watch as he walked away, didn’t notice or care how he reacted. She was happy and warm and a little drunk. Everything else could be taken care of in the morning. But for now, she would live in this one perfect moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See I am capable of fluffy goodness, among other things.
> 
> If you're curious, the genetic test Elsa has done for her antidepressants is an actual test and one that I've had done. The test is called Genesight and can be ordered by your provider when the world is no longer in pandemic mode. 
> 
> Stay happy, healthy, and socially distant my friends. 
> 
> -Al


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are different now.

“You’re acting weird.”

Kristoff rubbed his eyes looking up from the textbook. It had been a long while since he had taken classes. The memory a few rough semesters of community college rushed back whenever he tried to study, but he knew this was important. 

He’d be foolish to pass up this opportunity, even if it wasn’t exactly what he wanted. It was a job- a harder job, a job he might not even be any good at- but it was a job, the chance to make something more of himself than a rundown retail employee. He saw how it broke his mother and father, killing them long before the car accident had. He saw it in how hard his Mom and Pop fought for him and all of his brothers and sisters for a better life. He had to at least try, even if the words swam in front of his face to the point he swore he might cry and the numbers didn’t make sense no matter how hard he worked to understand.

“I’m studying. And you’re on the clock.”

Anna rolled her eyes and sat down in front of him. “Well, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we don’t have any customers.”

“You know we’re going to have a rush later because you said that.”

“Maybe, but I feel like we haven’t talked since we all went out that night.”

Kristoff sighed, trying to refocus his eyes on the book. The words still didn’t make much sense, but he still wasn’t ready to talk about the night they all went out.

In reality, nothing happened. They danced; she was drunk and exhausted. She said she loved him; he took her home to her apartment and they went their separate ways. That should have been the end of it. But the way that she said it, so carefree but purposeful, he couldn’t get it out of his head. And as much as he wished he could leave it be, he wasn’t ready to have the conversation where she inevitably told him she was drunk and that it didn’t mean anything. His heart couldn’t take it. 

Even if that meant they hadn’t really talked in two weeks. 

“We’ve talked,” he said, pointing at her headset. “We talk all the time.”

“That’s work,” Anna replied, rolling her eyes again and sticking her tongue out slightly. “You haven’t been over in a while, and I haven’t seen you at Ryder’s either.”

“Work you should still be doing.” With a disgruntled sigh, he shut the textbook in front of him. He should have known he wasn’t going to get any reading done on his lunch. “What do you want, Anna?”

He cringed when he saw the way her face dropped. Damn it. Good going, Kristoff. You’re making an ass of yourself. 

“I just wanted to check and make sure you’re okay,” she said, nervously biting her lower lip. “But, um, it can wait. I’ll get back on the floor.”

“Anna, wait-”

“No, no, it’s okay.” She put her hands up, responding a bit too quickly to the ding in their headsets. “Hi, welcome to Mermaid’s Siren, how can I help you today?”

Damn it.

\---

Anna felt tense. She tried to do the relaxation exercises in her car before she went into the apartment she shared with Elsa, but the tension kept seeping through. What had she done that was so wrong that Kristoff was so cold and distant lately. She clenched her fists tightly, trying not to let the anger surge inside her, though it remained a futile effort. 

A gentle knock brought her out of her stupor, making her jump before seeing it was her sister.

“Sorry- I tried texting you first,” Elsa said once Anna had unlocked the door for her. Anna couldn’t help but notice how small she was making herself. 

“Are you okay?” she asked, trying to turn down her own emotions to care for Elsa’s. Her sister needed her more than her internal worries did.

Elsa shook her head before grabbing to squeeze Anna’s hand. “Not really, but I can tell you aren’t either.”

Anna sighed, biting her lip. She wanted to help, but doubted her own strength in the moment. “I’m fine,” she lied, squeezing back. “What’s on your mind?”

“You’re not. Your knuckles are white on the steering wheel,” Elsa said shaking her head again. “Maybe we go inside, practice some self-care until one of us feels better?”

Anna nodded, unbuckling her seatbelt. She heaved another sigh and then gave Elsa a slight smile. “I think that’s a great idea.”

Upstairs, Anna was pelted by Olaf and Bruni, giving her more snuggles than she felt she deserved. A few tears slipped from her eyes as Elsa and the cats further wrapped her in hugs. 

“I thought we were both trying to take care of ourselves first,” Anna murmured against Elsa’s shoulder.

“I’m not feeling too bad right now. Please let me be the big sister for a minute,” Elsa said, rubbing her back softly. Anna nodded, allowing herself to be brought over to the couch to be held properly. 

Slowly her aggravation died down, muscles relaxing. “Thank you,” Anna said, resting against her sister. “Maybe in a minute, I’ll get up and we can have tea and talk like we used to?”

Elsa smiled at her softly. “In a minute. Let’s just stay like this a second.” 

And so they did. Before they even thought to untangle themselves again from the mess of blankets on the couch, the feelings came out, hushed and soft. Elsa told her about having a fight with Maren about the future of their long distance relationship, while Anna mused on Kristoff’s odd behaviors lately.

“He’s back in school, Anna. And working a full time job. That’s bound to be stressful,” Elsa responded, running a soft hand up Anna’s arm. “Have you asked him about what’s bothering him?”

Anna sighed. Of course she had tried asking him. But he shut her down right away it seemed. “I’m not sure what I can do now.”

Elsa nodded, still tracing small lines into Anna’s arm. “Maybe it’s not something you can fix right now. But don’t shut him out, Anna.”

“I’m not the one shutting him out. He’s the one not talking to me,” she huffed, jerking her arm away. “Besides, it’s not like we’re dating. I’m not supposed to fix him.”

“Yes, but you still have a relationship with him. Relationships are about building one another up, even in tough times,” Elsa said, sadness twinging on her face. 

“Bold words for someone in a fight with her girlfriend,” Anna teased, poking at her sister. 

“Maybe,” Elsa sighed. “But I know that we will work it out, because we both want to make this work. And not all relationships are romantic. You know that.”

Anna took a deep breath.

“But what if I want it to be?”

And there it was. In the open. There was no going back now. Anna Arendelle wanted a relationship with Kristoff Bjorgman, and there was no hiding from it anymore.

And that was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhh I know it's short, but I missed you guys so so much. School is out for the semester, meaning I have a week break before summer term starts <3 I know it's short and ended kinda on a cliff-hanger, but I love you all and I hopefully will not be gone as long this time.


	19. Chapter 19

_ Anna had seen Kristoff’s picture a few times before. He was Elsa’s first friend when she moved west to California, a barista at the coffee shop she frequented. She knew he had gotten her a job when her summer funding fell out. Realistically, she knew he was a good guy, but considering everything that she had experienced in the last few hours, she was more than a little intimidated by the buff blonde that drove up to her- no Hans’- house. _

_ She was glued to Elsa’s side the entire ride home, huddled in the back of his pick-up truck. They didn’t speak much, between her fear and exhaustion. Somewhere between Utah and Nevada, her sister had fallen asleep, and it was just the two of them. _

_ “Hey, I’m stopping to get gas and a coffee. What would you like?” _

_ Her eyes widened, unsure. “Um, nothing. I’m okay.” She didn’t want to cause anymore trouble that she already had this weekend alone. “I don’t need anything.” _

_ He looked at her with a distrusting look. “You haven’t eaten since before court this morning. Come on you gotta have something in your stomach.” _

_ “I don’t have any cash on me.” She couldn’t bother him. They had already done enough for her. She didn’t need to have any more guilt on her back.  _

_ But that didn’t stop him from handing her a bagel and a hot chocolate 10 minutes later. _

_ “Thank you.” _

_ \--- _

_ “So when you put your milk in the steamer, you’re going to want to listen for that rippling sound. Listen carefully to how this sounds.”  _

_ Anna watched carefully as Kristoff moved the steaming pitcher up and down on the wand. He had done so much to get this job for her, she wanted to do it well. There was something embarrassing about being 23 and never working a job before, but she hadn’t needed to before now.  _ _   
_ _  
“Rippling sound, got it,” she nodded, even though she definitely couldn’t hear the difference in sounds.  _

_ “Okay, now you try,”  _

_ Anna could practically feel the blood drain from her face. But, fake it until you make it. That’s what Elsa had told her at least. She put the milk pitcher under the wand and let it go. But rather than a rippling sound, the milk made the most blood curdling scream. It startled her so much, she dropped the now warmed milk pitcher, spilling it all over her apron and onto the floor. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” she cried, wincing back. _

_ “Hey, hey, it’s okay. Are you okay?” he asked, peering at her arms for any burns.  _

_ He wasn’t mad at her? She had ruined perfectly good milk. That was a fireable offense, wasn’t it? “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause trouble. I’m okay but now the milk’s ruined, and I’m sorry.” _

_ “Hey,” Kristoff looked her in the eyes- though Anna tried to keep hers down, “Messes can be cleaned. Come on, I’ll show you where the mop bucket is.” _

_ And even though Anna still felt fear and worry over the pitcher, she couldn’t help but simultaneously feel like it was okay that she messed up. That was a new feeling for sure. _

_ \--- _

_ “Kristoff, you can’t wear flannel to a wedding.” Anna rubbed at her eyes. She knew this wasn’t Kristoff’s usual venue, but come on! This was a wedding where he would meet the family of his new boyfriend. She wasn’t about to let him ruin this first impression. “Not only is it too hot for September, but it’s a wedding! You’re supposed to dress ‘up’ not normal!” _

_ Kristoff looked visibly uncomfortable staring out at the department store in front of him. “I don’t want to be a little suit monkey. That’s not who I am!” _

_ Anna nodded, eyes scanning the racks. “Then we won’t get you a suit. Simple as that.” _

_ His head cocked slightly looking at her .”But you said I can’t wear a flannel and I don’t want to wear a suit. What else is there?” _

_ Anna’s eyes lit up, gears turning with ideas. “Oh just you wait, my good sir. I know just the thing. Do you know your measurements?” _

_ He, in fact, did not know his measurements beyond being an extra large in most shirts and his pant size, thus leading Anna onto a goose chase for measuring tape. When she ultimately found some, there was an odd intimacy about it. She had never let herself get this close to someone other than Hans. _

_ And yet here she was with her sister’s best friend with tape wrapped around his chest. How she wanted to just reach out and touch a little further. She shook her head. That wasn’t right. She wouldn’t want that done to her, she thought. Even if Kristoff wanted it too, it was too soon. And more importantly, he wasn’t available. _

_ Anna brushed the thoughts aside; she had a job to do. Kristoff was going to look like a million bucks if it was the last thing she did. _

_ “Come on! Let’s try this green one!” _

_ \--- _

_ Kristoff would make a great dad one day. They had never talked about it, but watching the way he interacted with his little cousins and nieces and nephews, Anna couldn’t help but be in amazement. No matter what he was doing, if one of the kids needed Uncle Kristoff, he was there in a second. It was an admirable thing. _

_ She had thought about kids before. But when Hans had made it abundantly clear that he never wanted children, that dream was tossed aside. Maybe one day she’d meet someone just as good as kids as Kristoff. _

_ Ryder was a lucky man indeed. _

_ \--- _

_ Her heart ached watching him cry. He wasn’t in the right by any means- he shouldn’t have run away on Ryder. Anna knew that; Kristoff knew that. But Anna was in no place to judge. She had made plenty of mistakes in her life. Relationships were hard and no one knew that better than someone in the midst of a breakup. _

_ So instead of useless advice, they tucked her tired sister into bed, burnt popcorn on the stove, and played video games. It wasn’t much, but the tears flowed a little slower by the time he bid adieu early in the morning.  _

_ \--- _

_ “I’m here, what do you need?” _

_ “A friend?” _

_ “I can do that.” _

_ \--- _

_ “You legally cannot fire her for needing to go to court!” _ _   
_ _   
_ __ “What do you expect us to do, Kristoff? Run a short shift?”

_ “We do it all the time during the night, and you’ve never seemed to care!” _

_ “We have to keep our times down during peak.” _

_ “Oh your precious peak? It’s one morning. You are not firing her with one excused, mind you, absence. What’s got you on such a high horse, Claire?” _

_ “You don’t get to make those decisions. If Anna wants to miss a shift, it’s her responsibility to find coverage, not mine.” _

_ “She is missing for a court date.” _

_ “She could be lying. And I’m still down a barista.” _

_ “...I’ll take her shift. Just don’t fire her. She’s been through enough.” _

_ “Then we have nothing else to talk about. Now get on the floor.” _

_ \--- _

_ “I no called, no show. How in the hell do I still have a job?” _

_ Anna’s eyes blearily wandered in the bed as Kristoff told her about the missed shift. He simply shrugged, touching her hand gently. “Shit like that happens all the time. Three strikes and you’re out, ya know?” _

_ “It’ll be better tomorrow.” _

_ \---  _

_ “There’s no way in hell you’re faster than me now!” _

_ “Come on! Last one there has to buy the beer!” _

_ “Oh hell no! Ballpark beer is the worst and you know it." _

_ “Fine, nachos, whatever. Just run!”  _

_ “Hey! No parkour moves!” _

_ “Nope!” _

_ “That’s not fair and you know it!” _

_ “Didn’t know we were playing fair!” _

_ “Anna!” _

_ \--- _

“What if I want it to be?”

For the first time in a long time, she knew exactly what she wanted. There was no “what-if”. Anna knew that. 

Elsa stared at her blankly for a moment. “You want to make it romantic?” she asked cautiously. 

Anna bit her lip, nodding slowly. “I think- I think I do. And that’s so bad of me isn’t it?”

Elsa was quick to shake her head. “Anna, sunshine, no. It isn’t bad.” She reached out and grabbed Anna’s hands. “You’re allowed to feel, remember? And if you feel romance, then why would that be bad?”

Anna’s eyes darted to the ground. “It’s just- Hans. It’s not too soon is it?”

“Does it feel too soon?” Anna shook her head, looking back up to Elsa. “Then that’s all that matters.

“Hans was your past, Annie. He doesn’t have to define your future.”

Anna reached and pulled her sister into a tight hug. It was one thing to believe in herself, but another to hear it from someone else. 

She could do this.

\---

The air was too sticky for May. Whoever said California only had dry heat was a damned liar in Kristoff’s mind. But sulking outside seemed like a better idea than sulking inside his apartment. It was prettier that was for sure.

Why was he so stubborn? Anna was just asking about his studies and wanted to know why he hadn’t been talking much and he wouldn’t even give him the common courtesy of responding. He was so so stu-

“Those Arendelle sisters really have us messed up, don’t they?”

“Oh- hey, Maren,” he said, moving over to give her a spot to sit. 

“Hey yourself,” she said, taking the offered seat. “You’re sulking.”

Kristoff rolled his eyes, absentmindedly playing with his bag. What was Maren doing here anyway? “Am not.”

Maren laughed, giving him a light punch on the arm. “You wear your heart on your sleeve, Bjorgman.” 

“I do not.” Kristoff took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair. “And what do you mean the Arendelle sisters? If I remember correctly, you’re the one in the doghouse.”

Maren waved him off. “Elsa and I are fine now. But you on the other hand have been sulking since we went to the bar. I know what Anna said to you. So why the hell are you still ignoring her?”

“How?” How the hell did she know this? That was a private moment- Maren should have been too plastered to know about it. And yet, here she was confronting him.

She gave him a shrug, “Drunk Anna was very talkative in the cab, what can I say?”

Kristoff sighed. “I don’t want to mess this up. She’s been through enough-”

“You both have.”

“-I know that. But Hans, he really messed her up. I don’t want to upset her and make her uncomfortable or push her or- or I don’t know. I don’t wanna hurt her too.”

Maren put a hand on Kristoff’s knee, staring him down. “Have you talked about that with her?”

He shook his head, How did you even breach that topic? Hey I know you’re just getting out of an abusive relationship but I think you’re really neat and nice and do you want to date? That was not how that worked. “She wouldn’t want someone like me. That was the alcohol, not Anna.”

“Well, I have some decent intel that says otherwise,” she said, moving to stand again. “The ball is in your court, Kristoff. You just have to make the shot.”

“What are you talking about?” he asked, reaching out as she walked.

“I said what I said.” Maren started off down the block before he could grab her hand. “Good luck!”

What the hell was she even talking about? The ball was in his court? Decent intel? With a deep sigh, Kristoff put his head in his hand running through the conversation again.

Maybe it was time to try again after all.


End file.
